Opposite gender friendship?

#1

Faraday

Anyone had a friend of the opposite sex where neither of you ended up falling for the other? (excluding non-straights obv)
Like I feel like any girl that I think is interesting enough to be friends with I end up trying to date

I can imagine a girl that is unattractive but interesting enough to hang out with but I'm yet to meet one

#2

Qwertyy

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yes ^_^

#5

Faraday

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Mods took your stars so I know you ain't a trustworthy source,
Mods know best bing chilling

#3

hanafuuji

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wanna hang out w me? ^_^

#8

Faraday

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Ok but just so you know I go to bed with all my friends

#19

Jokozuma

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W lie

#44

number1_cned_hater

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rizz

#34

TheLoque

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I'm confused of your flag and flair, anyway... can we?

#35

Faraday

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hanafuuji is a guy not an e-girl if that's what your looking for

#40

TheLoque

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Are you saying i need a girl to hang out?

#42

Faraday

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Nah just wasn't sure what you were looking for

#52

hanafuuji

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I can be whatever you want me to be ;)

#56

Faraday

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Oh? <3

#4

aylez

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i have a lot of guy friends ^_^

#6

Faraday

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They are all in love with you or your very unattractive, sorry

#7

SEN_brasileiros

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high chance of being true.
exceptions are like childhood friends or smth

#14

aylez

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??? day is ruined

only two or three of them had a crush on me that i know of.

tbh with guy-girl friendships i feel like both sides are somewhat attracted to each other (even if its a little bit) at some point. its easy to get over though imo.

#20

SEN_brasileiros

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too hard to have a true friendship especially cuz is weird when someone while dating tells private things to "his/her friends" when in a relationship and those friends are same gender as you.
weird af

#24

aylez

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aaaa that would b the one thing thats kinda iffy about having a best friend of the opposite sex.

for me i dont really have any guy friends (irl) that are thaaaaat close to me so i wouldnt have to worry abt it. mostly just people i spend time with a lot at school or hangout with occasionally, dont text 24/7 or anything like that.

#26

SEN_brasileiros

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so they're not even "friends" tbh
they are only part of your group in certain environments that youre in

#30

aylez

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some are some arent

only two or three are cloooose friends

#9

chick

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Ngl, idk why but a lot of men do this- when you’re literally skipping on some of your bestest friends for life.

Some of my closest friends have always been women- and i did have thoughts of dating them but it was just a fixation caused by loneliness and the feeling of being wanted by someone. If you just touch grass and have platonic relationships with women, you’d heal yourself way better than trying to date every person from the opposite gender👍

#11

Faraday

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and i did have thoughts of dating them but it was just a fixation caused by loneliness and the feeling of being wanted by someone

Too real

I never said it wouldn't be healthier, but I always fall in love and I always shoot my shot

#13

FNEGGS

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I don't think its always the guys fault though. I've had friends who have flirted with me and after I chose not to reciprocate that friendship just dies out.

#10

Nakao

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yeah I have one, ppl used to think that we were dating because we're really close to each other lmfao

#16

SEN_brasileiros

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cara, normalmente ter amiga proxima eh meme pq ter amiga ou amigo de outro sexo é paia alem do pq tu vai namorar um dia e tem chances de tu explanar coisas da tua namorada pra tua "amiga proxima" e vice versa, é a mesma coisa tu namorar uma amiga cheio de amigo macho e ela ficar falando coisas pessoais tua sem nem tu saber.
tu é homem tenho ctz q n tem coisa pior q outro homem saber coisa pessoal tua

#17

Nakao

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isso é mentalidade de qm só assistiu porno a vida toda e acha q toda mulher é pra transar e já era

#21

SEN_brasileiros

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nem
que mentalidade de porno oq filho
isso eh oq mais acontece fora que é uma red flag fodida
é a mesma coisa de tu conhecer tua "namorada" e ela só contava coisa ruim dos "ex" que ela teve, se tu virar ex vai acontecer a mesma bosta contigo, isso é red flag, só isso msm.

mas em amizade o problema de ter amigo de outro sexo é justamente isso, nenhum homem quer que outro homem saiba de coisa privadas dele, é só fato.

#25

Nakao

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tu tá literalmente dizendo que ter amigos próximos é uma bosta independente de ser homem ou mulher, ou seja, mulher só deve servir pra reproduzir na sua cabeça

#29

SEN_brasileiros

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caralho onde q eu falei que so serve pra reproduzir onde tu ta tirando isso da onde misera
e onde falei de mulher falei que isso é sus em ambos os lados
tanto que tem mina que n curte homem ter amigos "proximos" por isso
mas eu me refiro de amigos proximos n aquele pessoal que tu convive em determinados ambientes e ja considera amigos.

#12

acels2

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obviously yes

#15

EJAYandINVY_NUMBAWANFAN

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i only had like 2 instances where i liked a girl friend. the rest just friends.

#18

dexter000111

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Idk bout this one. Any female friends I have, I think of as my little sisters. This sounds hella weird personally

#22

yaiima0

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Most of my friends are girls and I don’t have any Romantic feelings towards them. People of opposite genders can definitely be friends, you just have to stop seeing them as romantic prospects.

#28

Nakao

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exactly, most of the ppl just got their minds deteriored by p0rn and can't build an friendship with any woman because of their addiction and how that changed their emotions towards any of them

#23

Simp4S0m

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I don’t have friends (opposite or same gender)

#32

Faraday

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With how much your on VLR I don't doubt that my guy

#36

Simp4S0m

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Look who’s talking

#72

CryoZanderDerrekEnjoyer

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Lets be friends lil bro

#78

Simp4S0m

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Okie :3

#27

LyCan52

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there's plenty 😿

#31

Simp4S0m

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You not a good liar kekw

#33

LyCan52

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it's not a lie😡😿

#37

cCyan

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my gf's(probably she's gonna be my ex too real soon) ex was her best friend and they ended up falling for each other and they say they're still friends but i can tell she still has feelings for him

#39

SEN_brasileiros

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🤡
remember that her "friends" know every single private things about u now :D

#65

cCyan

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yes he does. not sure about 'everything' but he knows allat

#66

SEN_brasileiros

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sad for u buddy,

#38

bonkashi

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honestly not being able to have a friendship with someone of the opposite gender without thinking of it romantically is a massive red flag in a person

#41

Faraday

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I mean your 100% right, I'm overplaying for VLR
but if a guy has never had a friend of the opposite sex he probably sees woman as goals not people
I'm guilty of this in my youth for sure

#43

SEN_brasileiros

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I think friendship is not an issue but close friendship yes.

#45

number1_cned_hater

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Yeah I have many opposite sex friends they show up in my dream

#46

Ailed

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Opposite gender friendships are fire

A lot of guys have no idea how to deal w emotions or comfort another person and girls usually do

Also it’s j great to get advice from someone who has a different perspective than you

Would recommend

#47

canyon

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Stop taking advice from women pookie 😠

#48

aylez

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pookie

😡

#50

Ailed

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You are missing out

#60

Pengu12

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Pookie <3

#51

Faraday

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Yeah men do have really poor emotional maturity
most advice from woman though are dogshit, similar to men giving advice to woman purely because it's hard for people to see from another perspective but maybe that's just my experience

#55

Ailed

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Yeah some girls have a hard time seeing life through a guy’s perspective and then being able to give good advice but I’ve found there are a lot of extremely empathetic emotionally mature women compared to men. Ig you j gotta find the right person

Also girls are much better listeners than men. People I’m friends with can understand a situation much better than any of my guy friends by j listening to me rant or something

#57

canyon

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Why can't I find one :(

#61

Faraday

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Woman being better listeners is too real, a guy will only want to give solutions and don't understand that that's not actually the purpose of venting

#64

Ailed

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Exactly.

I used to have that issue as well but being friends with girls taught me how to be a good listener

#49

ash_knuckles

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anybody who cannot hold a platonic relationship with the opposite gender is socially maladjusted and not in a good net positive way

#53

number1_cned_hater

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what does socially maladjusted mean

#54

SEN_brasileiros

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bro dont know what friend mean, maybe for u it should be "close friends", close friend is truly sus if opposite gender.

#58

Ailed

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Close friendships don’t have to be completely “non-sus” tho.

Especially if you have a pretty big emotional connections it’s pretty likely there will be feelings

Emotional maturity is being able to look past that and not make shi weird

#59

SEN_brasileiros

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you're saying something that in practice almost nobody has.

exceptions exist, but they are few and it depends on the person.

#62

ash_knuckles

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ur generalizing anecdotal experience lol this is commonplace is most modern relationships
i wasn't even talking about close friendships tbh, ppl defiine friendship boundaries weird but i define friend as "ppl i frequently interact/share common interests with" so yea if u can't maintain relationships like that ur fucked

#63

SEN_brasileiros

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you're the one generalizing buddy, do u expect people around our age to be "mature"?
especially 15-21
people do not act that way in 90% times.
best way is to view it as red flag lol

#67

ash_knuckles

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welp i'm older than that demographic so u've lost me there lol

if society is like this for younger adults then that's kinda fucked tbh. at ~18 i expect most ppl to have enough social maturity to navigate the different tiers of relationships. any adverse results are indicative of social maladjustment....imo.

#70

Na1myy

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Define friendship here

#71

ash_knuckles

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i define friend as "ppl i frequently interact/share common interests with

also based on your comment u probably agree with #62

#75

SEN_brasileiros

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that's not friendship at all, but i think that's because there's no term for it in English, but there's a term for it in Portuguese which we call "Colegas"

#77

ash_knuckles

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"colleague"?
i don't frequently interact with colleagues, or initiate conversations w them that don't relate to work, nor do we share any common interests outside of work

#80

SEN_brasileiros

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nah, colegas is what you calls friends overall, friend here is like "long time friend" or someone who is with u for everything

colegas is like more temporary for one ambient, like my "friends from school" is my colega.

#83

ash_knuckles

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i see.
i don't have any of those types of "friends" then im ngl, as i said before ppl define friendship all kinds of weird. your definition is a bit more engaged.

#82

Na1myy

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If thats your definition of friendship then it is possible yeah.

#68

Na1myy

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The issue with this question is that everybody has their own definition of friendship. For some a friend already is the drinking buddy who you see at social meetups, to others it has to be somebody you have to interact with every day. In reality, you really cant have more then 5 "real friends". If you think you have 20 friends or something you are going to be dissappointed when you age.

I personally think that, especially at a younger age, a close friendship between two people of the opposite gender is close to impossible. I honestly cant think of any "close friendships" between 2 opposite sex people in my real life were one actually isnt interested in the other.

If you would bang your best friend it is already not a normal friendship.

One thing that can happen for sure is that one had a crush and lost interested over time.

#73

SEN_brasileiros

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Sane.

#74

Faraday

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Yeah that's true, I guess I was assuming close friendship like your top 2
But I guess I said it more general then I meant

#79

Na1myy

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It just is an issue that the term friend kinda lost a lot of meaning over the last few years, especially with social media. In reality it is almost impossible to have any more then 5 "real" friends. You can have many good acquaintances, but a real deep bonding is only possible with a hand full of people.

Also quiet a few people who say that they have alot of friends tend to have 0 real friends in reality. Have seen it many times.

#81

SEN_brasileiros

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Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

#69

juho

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yeah but idk it was easy to get over it

#76

CryoZanderDerrekEnjoyer

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As Na1myy in #68 already said its difficult to define friendship

Im not very social therefore my social circle being small but i do have opposite gender friends and its actually very helpful as some topics are easier to talk with than with the same gender