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"Professional" Analyst Apologist Thread

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#1
m4

Dear Cult of Personality followers,

Sliggy doesn't know how chess and checkers works and maybe you don't either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP2ffAkfK9w&t=59s

Anderzz is making up chess terms but that tracks with his content. There is no such thing as a "micro checkmate" and I'm not sure if understands what a "check" is in Chess.
https://x.com/AnderzzTV/status/1975592153309941802

Please, educate your Valorant analyst gods and help them do better.

Love always,
m4

P.S. Chatgpt is an option for check ing your board er line questionable content decisions.

#2
Langacune
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maybe he means a board with pieces
And anderzz is making up his own words with the word checkmate

#3
Tempest24
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maybe if anderzz made a 100 page google doc it would have been better

#12
m4
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Bruh...

Could you imagine 100 pages of this...
https://x.com/AnderzzTV/status/1975592153309941802

At least I had pictures because let's be real, this community can't read.

#14
Tempest24
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mmmm multi staged round flow 🤤🤤🤤
mmmmph duel facilitating mechanisms 🤤🤤🤤

#15
m4
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A "stat stick" if you're unfamiliar, is a character or mechanic who lives or dies by its numbers. When it's above X threshold, it's a major problem, when it's below the threshold, it feels painfully under-powered. 🤤🤤🤤

#16
Tempest24
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anderzz fluent in yapanese

#4
229fn
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As an analyst with a VLR profile, lock in

#17
I_LOVE_LESS
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my goat analyst right there

#18
229fn
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my goat vyse player right there

#27
I_LOVE_LESS
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hey hey hey.. and chamber

#30
229fn
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oh true, my goat senti player right there

#5
Z0vereign
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tt

#6
milflover92
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I forgot where Icebox was located could you please tell me

#13
m4
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Disappeared in Swiss Stage Round 4, August 18th, 2025 @ 2:00pm. :)

#7
1dan1x
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I desperately need a 100 page analysis about Icebox can you help me out m4?

#8
JonahPork
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ngl man Anderzz is clearly a smart and accomplished analyst who deserved to get to where he is today, so not even tryna act like he’s a bad analyst, but his word choice and the way he formulates his tweets is so fucking annoying. Like he tries his hardest to convolute his message with terminology no one uses, not even his peers.

Idk how to say this without being anti-intellectual but yea it feels like he tries to paint his message as smarter than he is

#10
overweightcat34
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tbh I can talk like that too sometimes but the brain rot evens it out. His tweets made sense but yeah lots of different terms you either have to know beforehand or look up while reading, especially in the analogies to other games. Wood league chess players in shambles lol

#49
uwukitten
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just read that tweet, jesus christ this guy wants to be seen as intelligent so badly

#9
sexocum
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where is icebox located?

#19
m4
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"yo wtf u saying window licker"

#23
sexocum
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LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO ok you win m4

#11
m4
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hmmm...

#20
Congo1
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What? U smell something?

#21
Blaezey
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idk man, i think the term "micro-checkmate" is very easy to understand given the context. Besides, Anderzz has trophies from being an analyst. Also, aren't you the 100-page icebox playbook guy?

#22
Tempest24
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100 pages of peak fym

#24
m4
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Webster "Onya" Dictionary over here. Since you enjoy made up words.. I had a friend help me out...

Flumbuzzle (verb) — to utterly confuse someone with enthusiasm and snacks.
“He flumbuzzled the committee with cupcakes and charisma.”

Snorpulent (adjective) — when something looks both comfortable and slightly gross.
“That beanbag chair is weirdly snorpulent, like it’s judging me for sitting on it.”

Blergitude (noun) — the existential meh you feel when your favorite show gets canceled.
“Her blergitude was palpable after the finale.”

Womptastic (adjective) — unexpectedly amazing in a chaotic, unhinged way.
“That karaoke performance was womptastic — I think the smoke alarm joined in.”

Quizzlefied (verb) — the state of being overcomplicated for no reason whatsoever.
“The onboarding process was quizzlefied by six unnecessary PowerPoints.”

Gloobernog (noun) — a mysterious substance found in the back of your fridge that’s possibly evolving.
“Don’t touch the gloobernog, it’s part of an ongoing experiment.”

Minkadoodle (noun) — someone who’s endearingly ridiculous but alarmingly confident.
“That minkadoodle walked into the meeting wearing a cape and owning it.”

Scrumbulate (verb) — to panic-organize your life in 12 minutes before guests arrive.
“We scrumbulated so hard, even the dog looked cleaner.”

Yonderblorp (noun) — a vague destination used when you don’t want to admit you’re lost.
“Let’s just head yonderblorp and see what happens.”

Dingfuddle (noun) — that moment when technology works, but you have no idea why.
“The printer started working after I yelled at it, so that’s a dingfuddle win.”

#25
m4
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Also ain't no way you're out here doing comparisons with this youtube channel fam...

https://www.youtube.com/@Blaezey

#26
m4
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sorry, last one..

What's on the second monitor fam?
https://imgur.com/a/GhD6mlI

#28
cloudberry
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Sliggy doesn't know how chess and checkers works and maybe you don't either.

He made one analogy to how some maps are played, which referenced how people compare simple/complex things to checkers/chess. It's insane how out of context you were able to take that

#31
m4
-3
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LOL... I knew you would come through for me cult of personality follower. Cloudberry is club president.

"There was a developer meeting recently, where they said they want their maps to feel like chess boards and I would argue that a lot of the maps feel like checkers boards where your pieces are very limited."

Plain hearing/reading of what he said... He believes chess boards and checkers boards are different. He believes chess pieces are not limited in their movement.

You are:
A: Adding context
B: Not listening
C: All of the above

So 1000% that last bit of "maybe you don't either." is you. Thank you... I was starting to lose hope. But you are my fav.

#35
cloudberry
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His wording was a bit off but you understand what he's trying to say. Why nitpick so much, man? He's getting his point across.

Also I guess it's nice to know that my internet persona is valued, to some extent

#43
m4
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Why nitpick so much, man?

A. Entertainment
B. Cult of Personality in Valorant (ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cult_of_personality)
C. His roast of the devs failed spectacularly
D. All of the above
E. None of the above

Choose carefully.

#45
m4
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Also you are valued. You're my second favorite person on vlr.

#50
Tempest24
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whose the first

#54
cloudberry
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Himself

#53
cloudberry
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Appreciate it o7

#29
ConsistentCycles
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guy who made things up to try to get a job and failed is made at people who did so and succeeded. reasonable crashout ig

#32
m4
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"i think the haters know theyre trolling and just dont like it or dont think its funny... haters and bandwagon fans are both equally trash and annoying"

#33
ConsistentCycles
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i really feel for you champ. one day youll find something youre good at. that thing will have to be very far away from valorant thankfully

#34
m4
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I can help you meet crashies if you want... You seemed REALLY interested in him.

#36
ConsistentCycles
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maybe you need therapy to get over your desire for public humiliation before moving on in life. but i really believe you can have a bright future. keep fighting little guy

#37
m4
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"sorry i realize i used too many words for you. I am calling you delusional and a hypocrite hope this helps"

#38
ConsistentCycles
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no need to cry man. there are better ways to deal with this

#39
m4
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"your mother should strike you"

#40
ConsistentCycles
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:(
its gonna be ok man. we're here for you

#42
m4
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"who is bro talking to"

#41
Aayan
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💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

#44
m4
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This is how you create engagement Aayan... not "bump" x100.

#52
archetype
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holy shit LMFAO

#55
Aayan
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💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

#48
ChadMaxing
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wait is this actually the 100 page icebox guy???

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