https://i.imgur.com/tKPmctW.png
Really~ Even though there were unfair things, tiring things, things that drive me crazy, it was a regretful Stage 1 where, even though I was really unhealthy, I tried to act hard as if I wasn't. Even though everyone finds it difficult and tough and unfair and that people have to carry the weight of the decisions they make sometimes it feels like too much. Although I put myself in this position sometimes I wanted to move away from it. This is actually the first time I’m saying this, but as the years go on it actually feels more tiring. I thought I was just maturing but it feels as if I was just withstanding this environment by understanding things that didn’t make sense as if they did make sense. Of course, nobody doesn’t go through things and as people everyone has regrets but when you’re given the choice to sacrifice yourself due to someone’s pressure or for someone’s entertainment and you have to deal with that choice, i don’t understand why one has to go through not even criticism, but mockery. I don’t know, I can’t even do this for fun.
Why do I post this? I’m not in the right state of mind but I just hoped someone would recognise me.
Even though there’s nothing good to come from me posting this, I’m tired of living like a machine. I feel like my emotion is getting ahead of reason and I’m sorry.
edit: corrected "I tried to act hard as if I was"->"I tried to act hard as if I wasn't"
rough translation but this is the gist of it
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