patuj [#91]
Thanks for comment, but I think its the opposite in a lot of those points. I don't really care do I win or not that much, but I care more about my own performance and how much I had effect on the outcome. And play unrated mainly because I want to improve my game sense and ability usage. My aim is decent even though it could be better. Also I'm definitely not overrating myself more like the opposite. As I said I have no problems playing in that level. I just have this mindset that I'm not good enough to play in that rank where I am. I feel like all the other players are better than me and it gives me stress and pressure. Even if that isn't the case in reality as I said. Its just some sort of lock in my head and its really hard to get over it even as stupid as it might sound. Just wanted share if there's people with similar problems.
Good example was in Overwatch where I pretty much grinded my alt account to Masters (in Valorant it would be like Immortal) with like 80% winrate, but the moment I hit that rank I just couldn't continue due to pressure feeling.
Ohhh I see, I guess your problem is being a perfectionist. You want to be good enough to play "perfect" at the level you're at. You probably get more mad at yourself than at your teammates. But listen man, if you've ever watched pro matches, you know even pro players make mistakes (egregious mistakes sometimes), and that's ok, no one will ever play this game perfect.
So accept that mistakes will happen and that they're a NORMAL thing. You will make mistakes, I'll make mistakes and so will TenZ. Allow yourself to make bad plays and forgive yourself when you do. You'll only learn from them.
Lastly, the game is supposed to be fun, and I think you're kinda like me: you only have fun when you're playing well, doesn't matter if you're winning or losing. So create a smurf and when you're not feeling it, just play there lmao