so theres this girl i have known for more than an year. we talked a lot like summer of last year and at one point we both liked each other but she wasn't over her ex so she didnt do anything and neither did i and soon she started seeing me as a friend. she even gave me her hairtie. after that i started falling for her really badly and one day she went to some competition and told me about this guy she found cute and i was really sad as she did lead me on and flirt with me even after saying we are nothing more than friends. she didnt pursue that guy further. we talked everyday and i started falling in love with her but she was always like we are nothing more than friends even after she flirted with me. 2-3 guys she told me about after the competition incident and everytime i fought with her and she stopped pursuing those guys but that was also because she was never over her ex. she told me she was over her ex like 2 weeks ago (it took her 1 year btw) and now she will focus on her academics. but it didnt even take her a week to find a new guy in her class and she started liking him. now shes hellbent on making him her boyfriend and theres nothing i can do about it and i want her to have that guy but it really hurts that it couldnt be me. i fought with her a few days back and she cried and apparently had a panic attack and she said i want you to be my constant but i said we cant and i cut her off. i really miss her but i know theres no point because there is another guy and she wont even care if im in her life or not. i dont know what to do and im in class 12 and i really dont want this to ruin my studies. whenever i confide in my friends about this all they say is "i told you before you shouldnt have done that". life js feels so empty without her.
how to get over attachment
Sometimes it's better to let go. She doesn't like you and there isn't much you can do when someone doesn't like you. At some point you have to let go. It will hurt, it always does, but know that if she does come back to you, it's because her current relationship didn't work out and she is looking for a warm shoulder. I am not saying that she is a bad person or you are a bad person but this situation just seems very toxic and not healthy for you or her. You are also in 12th, the most important part of your school life. Don't waste it on thinking about something you can't have. If you really want to put the stone off your chest, talk to her. Say why you acted like you did and clear everything out for you. it will help you let go way easier. Trust me, I have been there, most of us have.
honestly, it was your mistake to keep going with her with the intention of making it more than friends. though cutting her off is kinda harsh for this (you could have had a sit down convo with her being like "hey, I know youre not interested, but I need your confirmation that nothing will happen between us so I stop believing theres a chance." after that, you should be able to stomach that you dont have a chance and instead try to harbor a lifelong FRIENDship.
You cant (immedatoly). As much as you think that shes a hoe or shes bad for me etc it doesnt change that you had/have those feelings. I went through something similar and it really depressed me bu I found the best is to just stop seeing/talking with the person and finding time with others-it took me a while but now im over it-I still have times when I remember the past and get sad but those are just feeling nostaligic and not that I want to be with them now.
Real talk tho, find some ppl you trust and those who can empathize with you.
Over time, you’ll slowly start to separate away.
Also maybe try creating a goal to work towards and distract yourself for now.
After you become a better person and reach that goal, you may care about this part of your life less.
Obviously however, you may still feel feelings. That’s ok and normal, time doesn’t heal, it only patches things up like a bandage.
All we can do is take steps forward and let life build itself around us. Take the good with the bad.
I hope you’re able to get past this!
Much love ❤️
last year i participated in this competition called the wharton global high school investment competition and it really helped me take my mind off of her but unfortunately we couldnt make it past the semi finals. this year i do have a goal of getting into the top 10 colleges of delhi university and build my stock portfolio but even while studying i just cant stop thinking ab her. the only time i do stop thinking ab her is when im with my friends. during the competition also i was with my friends and that helped me a lot. i guess i just need to stay with the people i love.
Just look for a better one since you already got friendzoned and even you apologised to her just stay far away until she realise the truth on her own because in these situation you can’t really help when things not under your control
Edit - Don’t take my response seriously I am just bad at these situation never understood so take it with grain of salt I apologise for it
I’m ngl, this is unfortunately NOT the forum for empathetic responses. Please please please disregard all that take your emotions lightly. You may feel that your feelings are irrational and stupid, but we literally can’t control how we feel. Don’t beat yourself up.
It feels shitty and it will feel shitty for a while. You might not get over her for a while, and that’s okay. Your feelings are valid no matter how “irrational” they may be and how stupid you may feel about yourself for just feeling— we literally can’t control how we feel and I fucking hate everyone who insists on the opposite
I don’t know how much this will reach you right now because it sounds like you still miss her a ton, but keep contact cut. Kinda cringe to use a drug analogy here but it’s somewhat true: you have to go 100% clean
Let yourself mourn but not for too long. It’s okay to just let it all out, but afterwards spend time on yourself to keep yourself distracted and do the things that you love (your hobbies, talk to your loved ones who will listen instead of making judgements. If you don’t have anyone like that, JOURNAL, trust me. You just need an emotional outlet)
You probably already know this, but love yourself more and always always always validate your own emotions. It may be a while before you do get over it, but it will go away eventually. You got this
you probably hate it when people say this, but just do anything fun. i know thats what EVERYONE says because it can "distract" you, and even if it doesnt, it still keeps your mind away, but it really works.
also with what your friends said, use that as motivation to improve and move on. love wont always be forever, whether you just started dating, havent been dating but talked, dating for 2 years, etc. Nothing will truly last forever so dont think that just because that you cutting contact with her will define who you are as an overall person. You still got a long life to go and dont let one thing, big or small stop you from doing other things in life. Based on your response, it genuinely sounds like youd be a great irl friend that id have, so once again, dont let that stop you from doing what you want / have to do. that said, it happens and you're an amazing person. good luck!
How hard is it to avoid her for a bit? Are you guys in the same class or something?
You can try avoiding her for some days or confess everything (just show this post) and hope she likes you back.
In hindsight, you should've stopped her from flirting with you once it was clear that it wasn't going anywhere
we are in the same school and i do see her and try to avoid her but she when she sees me i cant. my heart just sinks and i get this really shitty feeling inside my stomach. but our schedules are not the same so it might be easier to avoid her at least in school. she knew she was hurting me she knew i really liked her and she didn't like me back. she likes this other guy whom she says she likes as much as she liked her ex when they (she and her ex) started talking and that means she likes him a lot. so idk i guess ill just go on with the no contact thing and hope for the best.
It will pass, if you are looking for a way to instantly feel better, then sadly it does not exist, feelings grown over months and years cannot wither in days over something like this. Stay strong, and stay adamant in your decision. Keep reminding yourself of why this is better, and what your goal is. Try to distract yourself, but constantly acknowledge your actions and the reasoning behind it. Soon it will all pass, and you will be happy with what you did, you've got this.
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