45

How NRG vs FNATIC will go

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#1
Nachtel

Friday, June 16th.
------------------------------
NRG Team Room, 6:00 PM PST (Ardiis bro count - 433):

Chet has not slept in 56 hours, yet he sits in front of a computer screen with FNS. They have been reviewing FNATIC's setups.

"This will be a hard one," exclaims FNS.

He gets up, kicking away the hundreds of empty gum boxes on the floor, "Today is all or nothing."

"...." replies Chet, in silence. He has fallen asleep

"WAKE UP CHET" yells FNS, Chet sits up with exasperation. For a moment, he can only smile as he treasures the few seconds of unconsciousness that he was gifted. Alas, however, he must suffer if NRG are to win.

End scene

FNATIC Team Room, 6:00 PM PST.

Derke is busy shining his head, Alfajer is in a discord call with one of his girlfriends, and Chronicle is browsing babysasuke's post history. Boaster is looking at himself in the mirror, flexing his muscles.

Yinsu walks in, "So you're finally gonna play NRG huh? Good luck out there"

Boaster, in a johnny bravo voice, says "It's alright baby, I will crush those NA dogs and make them bark for me HOO HAA!!" as he proceeds to strike a pose.

"Wait a moment... where's Leo?" asks Yinsu

"Right here" Leo replies, sitting in the corner of the room. He had not said a word all day

"Oh Leo" says Boaster, a laugh track ensues.

Arena backstage, 7:55 PM PST (Ardiis bro count - 764):

Chet has aged 43 years, crashies has turned into a giant blueberry while victor stares at him enviously. s0m has just called FNS his little pujy wujy, and all FNS can think about at the moment is how to cope with the amount of cringe he has just received.

Boaster is twerking with some japanese fans. He sees FNS and walks up confidently

"hey mini, call animal control, I think a few strays have made their way into the arena."

s0m barks. Boaster gets flustered and leaves.

end scene

Map 1 , 8:32 PM PST (ardiis bro count - 5402)

The scoreline is 8-4 in FNATIC's favor.

FNS, the weight of his team's victory on him, closes his eyes for just a moment. In his mind, he thinks "Chet, i'm sorry master but just this once."

In an instant, FNS' brain accelerates twice...no thrice the speed it usually works at.

10 minutes pass (7670 ardiis bros).

The scoreline is 10-8, still in FNATIC's favor. NRG have made a bit of a comeback. crashies can't stop clutching rounds. FNS' reads are becoming more and more on-point.

10 minutes pass (51411 ardiis bros).

FNS has achieved a state of nirvana; every audio queue, every piece of util used forms together to make a real time image in his mind of where each FNATIC player is.

NRG wins map 1 15-13.
Fnatic wins map 2 13-4
NRG wins map 3 22-20

end scene

NRG run back to the NRG area, only to find chet soundly asleep. They carry sleeping beauty back to their hotel and go on to win the rest of Tokyo.

Fin

#2
brdreamer
18
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+

ma god

#3
Delusional_SA_fan
0
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Fin?

#4
Simp4S0m
1
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All

#5
Dybala21
5
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Holyyy you should direct this as a video for both channels man

#6
Tashfeen
2
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beautiful

#7
babysasuke
-1
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WRG own those frauds

#8
mrGoudas
7
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+

i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.

When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.

I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.

I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.

Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.

#9
Pocket
6
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Truly shed a tear in my eye.

#10
GreyDaze
0
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Lmao what

#11
Schizophrenic_Brazil_Fan
0
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Unironically a good read
Although Loud will cuck NRG out of another grand finals

#12
Domination
0
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Ain't reading allat 🗿 Fnatic 2-0

#16
Nachtel
0
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sry ur wrong

#13
Cresp
-1
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Fnatic in 5 maps

#14
Ailed
0
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Fnc 104-0

#15
rina
1
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hundreds of empty gum boxes 😭

#17
SigmaMale
1
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Read allat 🤣🤣🤣

#18
EMEAstan
0
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So many NRG delusionals when in reality it will be a quick 2-0 for FNC

#19
JustEnjoying
1
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I was so invested in this dayum 😂

Legendary thread

#20
dapada
0
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13-11
13-9

in favor of Fnatic (u heard it here first)

#21
dowameemee
1
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This is one of the best things I've ever read on vlr

#22
TSM_Shreyash
1
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I read allat

#23
symbols07
4
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+

Derke is busy shining his head, Alfajer is in a discord call with one of his girlfriends, and Chronicle is browsing babysasuke's post history. Boaster is looking at himself in the mirror, flexing his muscles.
Boaster is twerking with some japanese fans. He sees FNS and walks up confidently
"hey mini, call animal control, I think a few strays have made their way into the arena."
s0m barks. Boaster gets flustered and leaves.

lmaoooooooo
this is one of the funniest things i have ever read on this site

#24
kirrans
2
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nrg vs fnc going to be the most insane matchup i hope

#29
Nachtel
0
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I'm really looking forward to it

#25
TmhariMummy
0
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Yea I agree with everything.... except Fnatic takes the win 2-0 clean and FNS buries Chet along with his strats

#26
uwukitten
0
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10/10, is this Shakespeare?

#27
GajarHalwa
0
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Dante could never

#28
Simon_Digger
0
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Shakespeare taking notes rn

#30
unknown_trash
0
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No but fr I need this translated into Shakespeare right now. Add the thy and the thou and the arts and the exeunts and all that other old English and this would be a work of art.

#31
Nachtel
-1
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get ready, this is what's going to happen

#32
DarKnight007
1
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I read allat, and that was actually pretty decent, gj dude

#33
CryoZanderDerrekEnjoyer
1
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allat

this thread is prolly the best thing i read on the internet this year

#34
aylez
1
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what a masterpiece

#35
monkeyman17
1
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so beautiful i shed a tear

#36
LycheeBlade
0
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this is the best thing i've read all year. i DID read allat

#37
melon_fan
0
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i was listening to the audio book while reading along

#38
Cresp
-1
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Kkkkkk ur a fraud small little man

#40
ZettGundam
0
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great start to the story but ending was abit rushed imo 7/10

#41
EMEAstan
-2
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Reality: 13-4 13-6
FNC won't get cocky and give NRG free rounds like last time

#42
oblvs
2
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blud is commenting on a post about a whole other event

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