Hello, this is the start of my weekly checkup on the depressed people of vlr. I want everyone to know there is a safe space if people want to talk about there shit. As a depressed person myself I want to help out everybody in the same position.
Yk just if there is shit or if people just want to talk or rant!
Espresso depresso
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Ahhh shit. Just struggling with meeting new people and actually feeling like you are part of a group or something?
What, thats sad. Are there no initiatives or activities where you can meet people who are actually interested in you.(in my countries most unis and stuff have their OWN group in which they organise activities(where you can meet new people))
very few but most of the people in my batch are friends since childhood or even school days so
nah if you feel being so left out its normal other student in your class feel that too its a matter of time they will show there true feelings they just want to survive every time they go to class
everyone else are in friend groups but anyways classes shuffle after 1st year so i hope i find some friends there
Not depressed but i have a feeling i might lose my wfh job
There was a lot layoffs last month
I didnt go gym for 3 weeks I feel fucking bad but hey immo2...
(I was sick and this week i had no time)
Shit happens Aight. I think most people have those kinds of weeks( I had 10 weeks summer vacation and went once in those 10 weeks while i was only gone for 1 week)
depresso cause unpaid internship and I see no future, everthing feels bleak and It's hard to keep working on myself. It is what it is.
only because he’s the only one with a chance left of winning wdc other than the mcl0r0ns
TU disbanded
saudi val in shambles unless twisted ascend
spyzera, recoil, moh all lft and might not find teams
saudi eleague split 3 ruined cus 2/8 teams disbanded and ff'ed their games
It depends on the day. Some days I am espresso when something good happens. But a lot of days nowadays I am depresso because sometimes I get hit by a train of negative emotions. Guilt, regret, frustration, sadness, anger etc. But I don't have any reason to feel that way because I should be grateful for my position. To everyone else, I seem to be the perfect person, living the dream life and making it all look easy. And yeah it does look easy because it has been for me in terms of academic stuff and just being a good and normal person, but underneath on most days I just feel numb. My sleep schedule is fucked, I'm always tired, I feel emotions really strongly and most days I feel numb. I've been burned out for 3 straight years so I've basically been coasting on most days through my education, and I feel like I can't tell anyone without sounding arrogant or ungrateful because I should be happy that I'm still able to do well if I'm not trying, but it's because I no longer have the energy to try and I know that the moment things start going horribly wrong in my life, I won't be able to recover or dig myself out of that hole. I'm hanging on by a thread most days. So yeah depresso more than espresso.
Wow, this sounds worrying but also kinda relatable💀💀. Know we are here for you to talk about it. OR To not talk about it if you want a distraction
What else is there to say? I've gained so much weight in the last 3 years. I always comfort eat when I'm feeling down but that costs so much and I already don't have much money. There are a rare couple of days where I feel superhuman but then I just crash again and feel that blanket of numbness. Occasionally, when it all gets so overwhelming, I just cry into my pillow at night because all those emotions that I push down erupt from inside me. I don't have many friends because I have crippling anxiety when I have to talk to new people. My brain never feels like it's off but I'm never able to control what goes through it. I can't focus on anything anymore, apart from when I just fixate on something for hours or days and then I suddenly discard it like a used toy, and it's so sudden like a switch gets flicked in my brain to dtp caring about it. My long term memory is perfect but I forget everything and that stresses me out. I always sleep during my lectures or if I sit down for too long even if I sleep for a long time. I also take hours to get out of bed in the morning especially if I have nothing to do on that day. My family always says I lack responsibility and that I'm not trying hard enough and none of them actually know what I'm going through despite them claiming that they are able to "read" other people well. How ironic, they see through everyone else but they don't understand me at all. I don't want to go more into that stuff because my relationship with my family has become a lot worse over the years and that's too personal. Just know that most days I seem to do something to piss them off and it's stressful. Idk how it even happens or how it gets to thar point or why I do what I do to make them annoyed at me but whatever. I often distract myself from the emotions because they always hurt when they hit me.
Depresso cos some girl fucked my mental so bad that I almost feel like I can't enjoy a holiday I'm dropping a couple grand for to see my old friends.
Now that I've written it out it seems so dumb, but it's so hard to not compare it to how happy I was back then.
Want to give some backstory for what happened or you rather not talk abt it?
That’s shit. And what makes it so you cant enjoy it? Like thinking abt the girl? Just not having fun?
Yea man. We've spent a lot of time working together, a lot of shared interests, went on a date once. Someone that I felt really close to. But circumstances meant that it can't continue. Almost like, what's the point if she's not there, yk?
But like, I'm trying to tell myself that I don't need her to have fun. End of the day I'm dropping like a sweet couple of weeks pay on this holiday.
Also you're a real one for doing this on this site. I try to do the same for my friends irl but you caring about strangers like this is real good of you.
Yo, gimme a bit. Gotta meet up with my group for a uni project ill reply in a bit fr
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