Hello VLRians,
Welcome to the Valorant Confessional. I, high priest Bruhmphrey, will absolve you of your sins past; bringing you back in communion with the holiness of VLR.
No judgement. E-Dating, Throwing, Boosting, a very specific story about scamming Russian children out of their accounts: Tell all in anonymity,
Freeing your mind frees your soul.
please forgive me
i edated. i bought her skins and boosted her to immo just for her to go lesbian and leave me for a chick shes known for 2 weeks 😭
we even met up IRL.
quarantine made me do stupid shit 😢
NRGSUPERFAN [#3]please forgive me
i edated. i bought her skins and boosted her to immo just for her to go lesbian and leave me for a chick shes known for 2 weeks 😭
we even met up IRL.
quarantine made me do stupid shit 😢
Man this aint even your sin tbh I just feel sorry for you.
But I absolve you for edating AND the meetup regardless. Goomana bless.
bruhmphrey [#4]Man this aint even your sin tbh I just feel sorry for you.
But I absolve you for edating AND the meetup regardless. Goomana bless.
🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏
not valorant but when i was 15 i edated a girl who claimed to be the same age as me
she was 12
wearesocookedchat [#5]i applied for a job 😢😢💔
can you please censor that word
sideshowsbaldhead [#7]not valorant but when i was 15 i edated a girl who claimed to be the same age as me
she was 12
💀
I stroke it to my teammates' voices 🤤
"one b long" annnd it's all over the ceiling
sideshowsbaldhead [#7]not valorant but when i was 15 i edated a girl who claimed to be the same age as me
she was 12
Like, again, I don't know if this is your sin. If you ceased the relationship upon learning the truth and repent, I absolve you for e-dating.
darklord69 [#10]I stroke it to my teammates' voices 🤤
"one b long" annnd it's all over the ceiling
Your penance before absolution is playing Waylay for 5 full ranked games.
bruhmphrey [#11]Like, again, I don't know if this is your sin. If you ceased the relationship upon learning the truth and repent, I absolve you for e-dating.
i didnt even actually find out until after we stopped edating
but yeah no needless to say i would not have been interested if i knew her real age
hellfire [#14]once had an ekitten she was like 4 years younger (I didn't know)
How old were you
NRGSUPERFAN [#3]please forgive me
i edated. i bought her skins and boosted her to immo just for her to go lesbian and leave me for a chick shes known for 2 weeks 😭
we even met up IRL.
quarantine made me do stupid shit 😢
If I uwu will you buy me the chaos vandal?
markass_brownee [#18]oh hell naw man
don't blame me bruv as I said I did NOT know
markass_brownee [#18]oh hell naw man
Yeah I think this is beyond my jurisdiction brodie
I met my girlfriend playing unrated, we've been together for almost two years now
1ski [#21]I met my girlfriend playing unrated, we've been together for almost two years now
I thought we were confessing some embarrassing stuff not wholesomeness
1ski [#21]I met my girlfriend playing unrated, we've been together for almost two years now
Did you guys live in the same town?
My first knife that I ever bought was the Nebula knife. I actually thought it was cool cause of the galaxy green screen (blame fortnite for that)
markass_brownee [#23]I thought we were confessing some embarrassing stuff not wholesomeness
It may not sound embarrassing, but it's hard to explain to people who don't play vlr or videogames in general (such as her family xD)
1ski [#27]It may not sound embarrassing, but it's hard to explain to people who don't play vlr or videogames in general (such as her family xD)
It's 2025 people meet in all sorts of random ass places, if you both are happy that's all that matters.
Valorant has an edating problem but a lot of it is for content I feel like. If you feel like you found the one you like why not, be happy king
hellfire [#17]18 💀💀😭😭😭
It sucks that they hide their shit. It's okay, though. She's the one ruining herself.
SudokuDude [#31]I've had thigh names for 3 years in Valorant. Please forgive me.
I can't even fathom what that means. Your sin is absolved because I'm afraid to ask
markass_brownee [#25]My first knife that I ever bought was the Nebula knife. I actually thought it was cool cause of the galaxy green screen (blame fortnite for that)
Not a sin, just a poor financial decision
SENfns [#26]i used to like tenz until i discovered the greatness of fns
Sin absolved
Skyns [#33]no one can fix me
Not really a sin, but glad you could get that off your chest
bruhmphrey [#32]I can't even fathom what that means. Your sin is absolved because I'm afraid to ask
my valorant user names had thigh in it. a down bad time.
I think e-dating is actually cool, may reduce people depression, an even maybe suicide attempt, and people that blame edaters are just jealous because they are lonely (instead of joining them)
wuk1nGg [#41]I had the name "Her bottomfrag" when I was with her
As hard as this is for me... you are forgiven.
Skyns [#38]i listen to gf asmr am i cooked
This post wasn't meant to be truth serum for your daily life lmaooo
bruhmphrey [#45]This post wasn't meant to be truth serum for your daily life lmaooo
i fw it tho, no forgiveness
Jayde [#46]I used to catfish for robux when i was like 11-13 (im a girl)
Jesus Christ, you're absolved bruh
Anguibok [#40]I think e-dating is actually cool, may reduce people depression, an even maybe suicide attempt, and people that blame edaters are just jealous because they are lonely (instead of joining them)
Hmm
FusionLULW [#52]back wheen hiko was my fav streamer i would draw him naked
You must have needed a large piece of paper
people thought i was an aimer and in reality i was just a rawaccel abuser..
bruhmphrey [#53]You must have needed a large piece of paper
Anyway, absolved
I_LOVE_LESS [#55]people thought i was an aimer and in reality i was just a rawaccel abuser..
Mastering rawaccel is a skill in and of itself
zappp [#54]i killed all jett, reyna and sage players with I miss her type shi names
Not a sin
bro even Batman himself couldn't get all these confessions out of me. What's going on here
About too drop the most craziest thing but I will get judged 100% and it will be like kirya femboy shi
islaaa [#63]bro even Batman himself couldn't get all these confessions out of me. What's going on here
It is the power of healing. No shame in seeking forgiveness. Release the burden.
Nehtiqs [#61]i broke my phone when qraxs 1v3 kc during kickoff 24
Valid, and not a sin. Absolved for overindulgence I guess
JesusisLord [#64]About too drop the most craziest thing but I will get judged 100% and it will be like kirya femboy shi
Let your mind and soul be free
Anguibok [#40]I think e-dating is actually cool, may reduce people depression, an even maybe suicide attempt, and people that blame edaters are just jealous because they are lonely (instead of joining them)
delusional
Zerphyr1 [#68]I own and use 15 smurf accounts
If you repent I will absolve you
ronk [#62]i hatewatch sentinels and TH (this is not a sin confession just facts)
It is a sin actually, absolved.
I once played 1 match like my life was on the line, because i believed i just need 1 more win to rank up. I was flaming everybody who did like iron level mistake, shouting-yelling ("wtf are u doin?????????") and after we won the game 13-11, i just realized it's unrated (u know every time u boot up the game, it set to unrated as default right? yeah.....)
I slept through my uni day 1 orientation because I stayed up watching EDG v TH grand final
Hades_Loves_Rb [#74]I slept through my uni day 1 orientation because I stayed up watching EDG v TH grand final
Now this is a confession, your penance is to study
bruhmphrey [#75]Now this is a confession, your penance is to study
its summer bro let me rest 😭😭
WatsomN [#73]I once played 1 match like my life was on the line, because i believed i just need 1 more win to rank up. I was flaming everybody who did like iron level mistake, shouting-yelling ("wtf are u doin?????????") and after we won the game 13-11, i just realized it's unrated (u know every time u boot up the game, it set to unrated as default right? yeah.....)
Your penance before absolution is doing 50 pushups and 50 situps every night for the next week. If you have a disability that prevents that, do an equivalent exercise that is possible for you. Goomana bless.
Hades_Loves_Rb [#76]its summer bro let me rest 😭😭
Mf acting like the grind stops
study for the MCAT
NRGSUPERFAN [#3]please forgive me
i edated. i bought her skins and boosted her to immo just for her to go lesbian and leave me for a chick shes known for 2 weeks 😭
we even met up IRL.
quarantine made me do stupid shit 😢
whats with all girls turning either gay or bi during covid
bruhmphrey [#67]Let your mind and soul be free
I get hard to female farts :(
justachillguy [#80]whats with all girls turning either gay or bi during covid
discord made people go crazy.
We met in Valorant
Flew to her place after 7 months
Smashed
Never talked or played ever again.
Cursing to whole boom rosters and betraying them for FNC 💔 much happier though with fnc
Bhrubby [#86]We met in Valorant
Flew to her place after 7 months
Smashed
Never talked or played ever again.
Was it that stinky
sealenjoyer [#87]I pulled a Mazino and jorked it to OW and LoL rule 34
The sin was not using Valorant r34
wearesocookedchat [#5]i applied for a job 😢😢💔
need a trigger warning on this one
JesusisLord [#84]I get hard to female farts :(
Yikes bro but you are what you are ig
Uribaba [#92]Yikes bro but you are what you are ig
But this weird fetish with this username is certainly an interesting combo
Hades_Loves_Rb [#74]I slept through my uni day 1 orientation because I stayed up watching EDG v TH grand final
shi bruh i failed a test because i watched that final
no regrets tho ✌️
Once in ranked I was playing chamber on abyss and my team kept 4 stacking one site on attack and they kept complaining about how I wasn't playing with them anytime I would play mid or the other site.
And then on a round that could change the game it was a 1v1, the other person was on like 30 hp and I was full hp and then I just jumped off the edge of the map because the previous round my teammates told me to watch a youtube video on how to play the game even though I was top fragging and had double any of their kills.
I used to think that I needed to always buy a secondary gun with a primary gun
EnterKey [#98]I used to think that I needed to always buy a secondary gun with a primary gun
not a sin, just innocent ignorance
GodAwfulGod [#97]Once in ranked I was playing chamber on abyss and my team kept 4 stacking one site on attack and they kept complaining about how I wasn't playing with them anytime I would play mid or the other site.
And then on a round that could change the game it was a 1v1, the other person was on like 30 hp and I was full hp and then I just jumped off the edge of the map because the previous round my teammates told me to watch a youtube video on how to play the game even though I was top fragging and had double any of their kills.
Dawg even bronze lobbies not like this
what is that rank you are playing on
grisx23 [#103]Dawg even bronze lobbies not like this
what is that rank you are playing on
It was a placement game when a new act started
1ski [#21]I met my girlfriend playing unrated, we've been together for almost two years now
good team choice plus girlfriend
so sigma sheesh
GESBXA [#99]I went *tside and took a shwr
dont tell me you applied for a j0b
be699 [#105]good team choice plus girlfriend
so sigma sheesh
a meta agora é levar ela pra conhecer a arena
Naivedh_gg [#108]I boosted my friends because they said they deserve a better rank
if they deserved the rank they wouldn't need to be boosted, but sin absolved
Anguibok [#40]I think e-dating is actually cool, may reduce people depression, an even maybe suicide attempt, and people that blame edaters are just jealous because they are lonely (instead of joining them)
Just get a real girlfriend
i was like 15 my moms " friend " brought her daughter over and they spent the night, for somereason she was in my room and things happened, like 4 years later my mom said she was my cousin...........
MANIAC8686 [#112]i was like 15 my moms " friend " brought her daughter over and they spent the night, for somereason she was in my room and things happened, like 4 years later my mom said she was my cousin...........
I think people just completely forgot about the Valorant part.
I don't know any therapists in Indonesia unfortunately, so the best I can do is absolve your sin??
I once destroyed my mouse and keyboard because this game kept giving me -23 RR when I lost while top fragging, and only +12 RR when I won as second frag — for 20 rounds straight. And to make it worse, my RR kept getting stuck at 99/100. (Yep I never learn from this game)
I have been smoking cigarette for a year now. Please help me get rid of it.
Deleted friends from valorant friend list because I did not want to play 3 games a day.
Discord