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URGENT HELP FOR DEPRESSED FRIEND

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#1
SoullessSpirits

One of my best friends i've known for a while was diagnosed with depression a few years back. I really tried to tell them how much she meant to me, how miserable I would be without her in my life, how there was many good things they did to me, how their life was the best one could ever wish for, and so much more. They only left the response as a :) or ik, which leads me to believe that they didn't read it, plus they never advocated for trying to feel better. I really, just really need help on what else to say, I'm the most socially anxious person, who struggles social interaction, I said all of what I could say. Is there anyway someone on this site can help me phrase positive things, that know for a fact that she'll read, and effect her in a positive manner.

tldr: need help forming, and making a sentence that a depressed friend will truly read, assuming they haven't read my texts, and only replied with something short like ik or :) and make them feel better.

edit: They did say actions speak louder than words, so I will keep note of the more action oriented things to do with them, and keep an eye out on phrases too to say!!! replies might take long since i have like 250 second cooldown, but i am reading all of it!! thank you for your help too :)

#2
minte
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in a rush rn, i am so sorry. replying only for bump. once again, i am so sorry

will edit msg tonight

#4
SoullessSpirits
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its okay!!! :)
thanks for bump too!!

#3
nutab1e
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I'd say don't dwell on the depression aspect of it, invite them to go do something with you as friends maybe

#10
SoullessSpirits
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i'll try!!!! i suck socially, but would do anything for them to stay alive, and have someone to have quality time with them!!

#5
Okayyyyyy
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Honestly, I know exactly how your social anxiety feels, I struggle A LOT with it irl and I can completely understand your situation. From what you’ve said, it’s one of those horrible situations where you can’t really do much, even though you really want to. In those situations, the other person doesn’t really want to interact with anyone regarding their problems, so what I would do is just drop reminders every now and then about how much they mean to you, sometimes the small replies mean a lot more than they let on, and it’ll show in due course. Also, try and have conversations regarding things that aren’t related to the depression, it helps the person forget about their problems and it’ll help them feel miles better. Hope this helps in any way brother

Edit: sorry for the long reply :)

#13
SoullessSpirits
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no its okay for the long reply!!! im two completely different people from IRL and Social Media!!!! They have a more liking for my presence I show online, so i'll try to act more like it in person!!!! It's true they don't really like themself, and they really hate themself. They have opened up to me about some of their problems too like anorexia, and darker stuff, but they don't really it when people talk about them in a good way. But thanks for the advice!!! c:

#6
ilovefrozenblueberries
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If theyre parents are respectful to her u should tell her parents or another adult she trust (im asusming shes not like >20)

#14
SoullessSpirits
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their parents aren't really the best. they've cried because of their parents, and maybe that adds a lot to how they feel. they're a more friends over family type of person, which is always okay!! she doesn't really feel like she can trust any adult, so she goes to her friends as a source instead of her family only when she wants to share anything about her life in general. her parents do not give a fuck about her, and she feels like theres no adult that can truly help her in short. but thanks for the advice!!!

#7
moatz
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Do smtng u guys like to do together

#15
SoullessSpirits
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yeah, i will!!!! thanks too!! :)

#8
kidnamedfinger
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Sorry but asking here wont help, just say everything that comes to your mind that you think will make them feel safe and better. If you can visit them physically, that'd be great. Regularly keep assuring them that they're not alone in this battle and make them feel secure and loved. For how to phrase it- that only you can do. Goodluck you got this :D

Sorry if this was of little or no help

#16
SoullessSpirits
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yeah i know!!! vlr isn't really the best place to ask for advice, but there are still very kind people here!! it's okay if it was little or no help!! you still tried :) thanks for advice too!!

#9
Trapyy_
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Bump

#17
SoullessSpirits
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thanks for bump!! :)

#11
RomanKatapult
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Honestly dealing with stuff like this is very difficult so I don't envy your position. Best thing to do is to let them know that you are there for them like you have been doing. They may not want to open up about their depression and that is completely fine. It can be frustrating but you don't want to push it. Just be there for them as a friend and if they open up great.

#18
SoullessSpirits
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okay!!! they have previously opened up about it, but not to too much of an extent!!! thanks for advice!! :)

#12
Sentinels_BRAZIL
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I would help, but I don't have too good histories when I tried to help someone since when I tried to help some old friends in past with depression, somehow some started having feelings for me.

#19
SoullessSpirits
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its okay!!!! :)

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