Nah fuck u this is abuse

Cooked by babysasuke, I might as well retire

He's the KRIMZ of baiting on vlr buddy's WASHED

Bro... you didn't have to do me like that

I'm just trying to see how quickly I can summon babysasuke ngl

I hope ur prostate hurts tonight

If we start replying to every Azzelastia or dort post with this copypasta idk if vlr will be saved or plunged into darkness

Every time she's trynna be hype she sounds like a retired death metal vocalist who smokes 44 ciggies a day why her throat so sore?

dortsbiggest fan type shi

Nah but I only moved to England so I didn't see it as necessary to switch

Hey at least a girl was interested at one point

Brother got so desperate he looked to vlr for a partner

Sounds believable

I tried to backtrack it the morning after, she said we couldn't be friends anymore

I never said another word to her and just tried my best not to look in her direction whenever we were in the common room

Hey at least you got to that point, probably better than everyone else on vlr combined

Stop bro I'm already dead

Oh trust me I wanted to die typing this but I figured it'd be fun to ask vlr about their biggest fumbles

Yes

Like January this year

Idk if this counts as a fumble because I didn't have a chance anyway but I once got drunk and sent girl about 100 messages on snapchat saying I was in love with her and I couldn't breathe without her

She had a boyfriend

I have not sent her a single message or said a single word to her since and just kinda looked at her from across the common room for the remainder of high school

It's safe to say I have absolutely negative game

Also mods please don't smite me I forgot to put this in off topic

Let it go bro, she ain't gonna say yes

R0ss

My goat Miniature Boo will farm and get his confidence back

Misogyny wins again, sad times today gentlemen (referring to srN not implying anything transphobic)

Let's go zootah division smoke that pack

Chronicle - more trophies, more flexible, more consistent, smarter player

Have gay sex, it breaks the sexual tension and eliminates the need for such things

If they give me hope of winning a trophy again yeah probably

In retrospect I picked the worst 2 teams to have as my favourites my ass is never getting happiness

Piss toe

Nah c0n0d0 m0n ur a finished Neon merchant icl

I hate FrosT

Less of that please

dort and Azzelastia wouldn't fight they would just get progressively further down the "mUh AmErIcAn GeNeTiCs" pipeline whilst wanking each other off about being obsessed with a bunch of guys who play video games for no reason other than they're from the same country as them

Context?

I saw a community post about the Halloween franchise asking for hot takes and I typed out a whole fuckin essay and for some reason it posted the comment to a seangares yt short that I had watched an hour earlier and I didn't realise until like days later so I just looked like a schizo rambling about horror movies on a Valorant short like a mental patient

Fuck you YouTube

Duelists

1. MIBR aspas
2. SEN zekken
3. G2 Jagwemo
4. KRU keznit
5. NRG mada
6. LEV Demon1
7. 100T Cryo
8. C9 OXY
9. LOUD dgzin
10. FUR mwzera
11. 2G silentzz
12. EG sym (assuming he sticks with EG)

Flex

1. G2 JonahP
2. NRG Ethan
3. KRU Mazino
4. LEV natanK
5. FUR heat
6. 100T Asuna
7. SEN Zellsis
8. MIBR artzin
9. EG NaturE
10. 2G Gobera
11. LOUD v1nny
12. C9 Xeppaa

Initiator

1. 100T eeiu
2. LOUD cauanzin
3. NRG Verno
4. G2 trent
5. EG Derrek
6. MIBR nzr
7. 2G Zap
8. C9 Rossy
9. LEV C0M
10. SEN johnqt
11. KRU adverso
12. FUR raafa

Controllers

1. NRG s0m
2. LOUD pANcada
3. SEN bang
4. LEV kiNgg
5. EG supamen
6. G2 valyn
7. FUR Khalil
8. KRU Melser
9. 100T Zander
10. 2G lzz
11. MIBR Xenom
12. C9 v1c

Sentinel

1. G2 leaf
2. KRU Shyyy
3. EG yay
4. SEN N4RRATE
5. LEV tex
6. MIBR cortezia
7. 100T Boostio
8. 2G pryze
9. LOUD tuyz
10. FUR havoc
11. C9 moose
12. NRG FNS

Average team's player ranking

G2 - 3
NRG - 4.6
SEN - 5.2
KRU - 5.6
LEV - 5.6
100T - 6
MIBR - 6.4
LOUD - 6.6
EG - 6.8
FUR - 8.8
2G - 9.2
C9 - 10.2

Hot take but I think smokes is a better role for suy than sentinel

I never thought SUYGETSU was aggressive enough as a sentinel on the attack and didn't really make enough big plays on his lurks and more often than not played for the clutch, which I think is far better suited for smokes play than sentinel, so I think SUYGETSU might honestly look better than he ever has

Vandal - Primordium is deffo up there for me
Phantom - Oni and Protocol are also bangers but literally nothing is better than Recon

Radiant Crisis 001

Honestly the most underrated skinline I barely see anyone run it nowadays

I think I aged about 10 years seeing this

I'd be fuming if I found a currency other than a pound I cba to go exchange that

I don't necessarily think he's bad I just don't think he can compete with the players above him

He's not young and cracked out of his mind or proven on the biggest stages so he's just one of those players that's kinda there for me

He deffo has potential and the competition is super stiff for top 5 I just put him below the top 4 because Sayf and SUYGETSU are superstar players transitioning to smokes that I think will be equally if not better on smokes than their previous roles, grubinho was easily the best smokes player in EMEA last year and Ruxic has the young Turkish player effect behind him

Idk I think MiniBoo's performance at Kickoff-Stage 1 and Champs playoffs pretty safely put him above everyone except Derke. His slump in Stage 2 and Champs group stages I'm willing to forgive because his confidence was clearly knocked by everyone calling for him to be dropped

If he's in form, he's easily top 2 imo

Ngl I was super uninformed about LewN so yeah I probably rate him lower than he deserves

cNed was kinda carrying FUT at Shanghai along with yetujey and I still think he has it in him to be world class

I thought purp0's Jett and Neon were kinda elite last season tho I think I may just be remembering a few games were he went crazy so idk

I expect marteen to be better than he was last season with a better calling system and better support players around him

Idk kaajak did just come off of winning Ascension as the highest rated player in the tournament, I'd say he's probably more proven

1 close loss in the group stage to a top 3 team from Shanghai who have a playstyle advantage and u act like they got smoked by some tier 3 bots

Plus EDG went on to beat LEV, who absolutely tier gapped G2 in playoffs and Americas finals

EDG were gonna win Champs no matter who was in the finals lil bro, stop crying

https://www.vlr.gg/348473/g2-esports-vs-gen-g-champions-tour-2024-masters-shanghai-ubf
https://www.vlr.gg/348470/100-thieves-vs-gen-g-champions-tour-2024-masters-shanghai-ubsf

GEN.G smoked 100T and G2 as well they would've won regardless of who they play in the Shanghai finals

https://www.vlr.gg/378828/edward-gaming-vs-leviat-n-valorant-champions-2024-ubf
https://www.vlr.gg/378826/sentinels-vs-edward-gaming-valorant-champions-2024-ubsf

EDG also beat both the NA teams in the top 4 on their way to the finals they deffo were winning Champs regardless of who they played

Ur just a turbo coper icl

Oh bro Apeks is so cooked if they don't have cNed. I'm a huge Lime believer but I think he's more of a consistently decent player than a star player like cNed at a T1 level and I don't think I'd take him over purp0 or marteen.

That's the same reasoning I have for putting koalanoob so low compared to all the young players in EMEA and I was honestly tempted to put Filu above him.

In terms of the controllers, Sayf played Omen and Viper last year and I have faith that he'll be able to keep a fairly consistent level with what he was last year. I honestly think SUYGETSU is better suited to be a controller than a sentinel so I think he may genuinely look even better. That grubinho take is honestly very fair I think he's super team material.

kamyk I just have super high faith in. I think he has a decently high ceiling and is fairly consistent. Though sociaBLEE might have higher potential to just take over games so idk

Yee when I was making the list I initially had him in like top 3 but then I kept thinking "would I really take a 26 year old who has the burden of dedicating his mental bandwidth to being the IGL over any of the players above him" and I kept saying no

He's still cracked and an absolute demon in the clutch tho, EMEA's smokes players all just got a lot better this year

Hasn't hoody signed to FOKUS? Also I'll adjust the list with Fit1nho