The news was just relayed to me by Jean Cepe, a nurse at the UMD, a long-time friend, who, despite the prohibition on communicating about the matter and the strict enforcement of professional secrecy surrounding it, informed me by phone that this individual, formerly known by the first name Giuseppe when they were still human—a time long past, lost in the immemorial and primordial mists of time, forgotten by all and swallowed in the foggy abyss of history—Jean Cepe told me, I say, that the bloodthirsty savage of the UMD had once again attacked one of the nurses tasked with restraining and treating them. Jean Cepe himself, who had drawn the short straw in a game of chance, was terribly unfortunate that day. The walking infamy, who had cunningly nurtured their inhuman and venereal scheme, blindly threw themselves at my brave colleague, armed with a fork stolen from the cafeteria—back when the masturbatory abomination was still allowed to eat with the other residents. In their superhuman madness, they pounced on my helpless friend, caught off guard and surprised, and drove the culinary utensil into his right eye socket, raging with fury. My friend owed his salvation only to the taser that all nurses entering the cell of this creeping black horror were required to carry, as per the UMD’s security protocols.
And so, today I learned with horror and terror that the unholy spawn had struck again, adding another innocent victim to their list of heinous crimes. Joao Tchepes, a distant cousin of Jean Cepe, who arrived in France two years ago seeking a better life, a former Brazilian paramilitary, and recruited to the UMD on Cepe’s recommendation, was today struck by fate, cursed by the heavens, and lost at the game of short straws, thereby putting his life on the line, threatened by a danger far beyond the mafia gangs of the favelas he had fought against with honesty and devotion for so long.
After making the sign of the cross, I’m told, and nervously praying to the Virgin Mary, Joao approached the tenth sub-basement, where the armored cell of this impervious madness is chained, to administer the daily sedative, as is customary at 9 a.m. Since the incident with Jean Cepe, the nurses responsible for the injections are always backed up by another nurse armed with a taser rifle. But the moment Tchepes opened the titanium door of the cell, his martial experience and past instantly alerted him to an imminent danger about to descend upon them both. The chains of the merciless gnome had been broken by their excrement, which had become corrosive due to the unknown pharmaceutical substances administered to them. The shameless viper had used this to free themselves from their shackles and was hiding, crouched in the corner by the door. With eyes bloodshot and screaming “LeKhey” in an otherworldly cry, they threw themselves mercilessly at Tchepes’ leg, biting and shattering his femur with an animalistic bite honed by months of gnawing on their steel chains. In a fleeting instant, they tore apart the poor Brazilian’s leg, severing his femoral artery in the blink of an eye. Fortunately, both the backup nurse and Tchepes himself managed to subdue the cursed gnome with their tasers and urgently evacuate our friend from São Paulo, who was suffering from a hemorrhage.
As of now, the bleeding has been stopped, but the doctors are concerned about an infection and potential sepsis caused by the poisons and toxic bacilli present in the infamous mouth of this beast. They are even considering amputating his leg...
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