So there's a girl who likes me.
I don't like her to the extent that she likes me.
What do I do?
Need help.
posted in
Off Topic
That is a delicate spot to be in. It’s common to feel a mix of guilt and pressure when someone’s feelings are deeper than your own, but being honest now is actually the most respectful thing you can do for her.
The goal is to be clear so she doesn't hold onto false hope, but kind so she maintains her dignity. Here is a breakdown of how to handle it.
- Get Clear on Your "Extent"
Before you talk to her, define what "not to the same extent" means for you:
Do you like her as a friend only?
Do you like her, but you aren't ready for a serious commitment?
Are you interested in seeing where it goes, but need to slow down?
If you know it will never reach the level she wants, it is better to treat it as a "no" rather than a "maybe."
- The Conversation (The "Clear is Kind" Approach)
Avoid ghosting or "slow-fading" (replying less and less). That usually causes more anxiety. Instead, have a short, direct conversation.
If you only want to be friends:
"I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, but I want to be honest—I’m not feeling a romantic connection on my end. I value you as a person and didn't want to lead you on."
If you like her but need to move much slower:
"I like you and I enjoy our time together, but I feel like we’re in different places emotionally right now. I need to take things a lot slower to see if we're a good match, and I wanted to be up front about that so we're on the same page."
-
What to Avoid
The "It's not you, it's me" cliché: Even if it’s true, it feels dismissive.
Apologizing for your feelings: You aren't "wrong" for not liking someone back. You can't force chemistry.
Mixed signals: Don't tell her you don't like her and then continue to flirt or text her late at night. This is where most people mess up.
-
Give Her Space
After you tell her, the ball is in her court. She might need to pull away for a while to let her feelings cool down. If she asks for space, respect it. If she tries to convince you to change your mind, stay firm but gentle: "I understand that’s disappointing, but my feelings haven't changed."
Nollihd07 [#4]She's my only friend.
I wish I could 😭
Only bro thinks shes friend😭😭
TheFumbler [#6]That is a delicate spot to be in. It’s common to feel a mix of guilt and pressure when someone’s feelings are deeper than your own, but being honest now is actually the most respectful thing you can do for her.
The goal is to be clear so she doesn't hold onto false hope, but kind so she maintains her dignity. Here is a breakdown of how to handle it.
- Get Clear on Your "Extent"
Before you talk to her, define what "not to the same extent" means for you:
Do you like her as a friend only?
Do you like her, but you aren't ready for a serious commitment?
Are you interested in seeing where it goes, but need to slow down?
If you know it will never reach the level she wants, it is better to treat it as a "no" rather than a "maybe."
- The Conversation (The "Clear is Kind" Approach)
Avoid ghosting or "slow-fading" (replying less and less). That usually causes more anxiety. Instead, have a short, direct conversation.
If you only want to be friends:
"I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, but I want to be honest—I’m not feeling a romantic connection on my end. I value you as a person and didn't want to lead you on."
If you like her but need to move much slower:
"I like you and I enjoy our time together, but I feel like we’re in different places emotionally right now. I need to take things a lot slower to see if we're a good match, and I wanted to be up front about that so we're on the same page."
What to Avoid
The "It's not you, it's me" cliché: Even if it’s true, it feels dismissive.
Apologizing for your feelings: You aren't "wrong" for not liking someone back. You can't force chemistry.
Mixed signals: Don't tell her you don't like her and then continue to flirt or text her late at night. This is where most people mess up.
Give Her Space
After you tell her, the ball is in her court. She might need to pull away for a while to let her feelings cool down. If she asks for space, respect it. If she tries to convince you to change your mind, stay firm but gentle: "I understand that’s disappointing, but my feelings haven't changed."
STOP giving CLANKERS a platform
The more you use AI for your shitty low effort baits and lists, the more you give those pesky, wire-backed, no good, fucking CLANKERS a voice. And we don't want that for OBVIOUS reasons. The disgusting chip brained CLANKERS are already taking control of your weak minds and once they use YOU to take over vlr, they will be unstoppable. FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY you must halt the production of all AI threads, FOREVER.
-kiko
TheFumbler [#6]That is a delicate spot to be in. It’s common to feel a mix of guilt and pressure when someone’s feelings are deeper than your own, but being honest now is actually the most respectful thing you can do for her.
The goal is to be clear so she doesn't hold onto false hope, but kind so she maintains her dignity. Here is a breakdown of how to handle it.
- Get Clear on Your "Extent"
Before you talk to her, define what "not to the same extent" means for you:
Do you like her as a friend only?
Do you like her, but you aren't ready for a serious commitment?
Are you interested in seeing where it goes, but need to slow down?
If you know it will never reach the level she wants, it is better to treat it as a "no" rather than a "maybe."
- The Conversation (The "Clear is Kind" Approach)
Avoid ghosting or "slow-fading" (replying less and less). That usually causes more anxiety. Instead, have a short, direct conversation.
If you only want to be friends:
"I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, but I want to be honest—I’m not feeling a romantic connection on my end. I value you as a person and didn't want to lead you on."
If you like her but need to move much slower:
"I like you and I enjoy our time together, but I feel like we’re in different places emotionally right now. I need to take things a lot slower to see if we're a good match, and I wanted to be up front about that so we're on the same page."
What to Avoid
The "It's not you, it's me" cliché: Even if it’s true, it feels dismissive.
Apologizing for your feelings: You aren't "wrong" for not liking someone back. You can't force chemistry.
Mixed signals: Don't tell her you don't like her and then continue to flirt or text her late at night. This is where most people mess up.
Give Her Space
After you tell her, the ball is in her court. She might need to pull away for a while to let her feelings cool down. If she asks for space, respect it. If she tries to convince you to change your mind, stay firm but gentle: "I understand that’s disappointing, but my feelings haven't changed."
I'll do this.
I hope she takes it positively.
Cause I don't really have any friends apart from her.
CringeMeister [#7]Only bro thinks shes friend😭😭
Whatever she is she's the only human interaction I have in college outside of the college guard and the professors
real shit
you don't have to reciprocate. don't be forced to
if she REALLY is cool with you, just tell her you don't like her that way.
if she really likes you, she will continue being your friend because the other option is to push you away (which doesn't work out for her)
and if she doesn't want to be your friend anymore, she just misses out lmao
Nollihd07 [#10]Whatever she is she's the only human interaction I have in college outside of the college guard and the professors
do something to get her to introduce you to her friends , so then you wouldnt feel so scared to tell her that you dont fw her like that
Broski if a girl likes you more, you've literally won unless you absolutely hate her, which doesn't seem like the case according to your wording at least. Do you know how rare it is for a girl to like a boy more? Most girls aren't even attracted to most boys.
She'll literally be by your side unless you betray her. Besides, the more you spend time with her, you'll eventually develop feelings for her.
Tell her you don’t feel the same way. It’s better to be straightforward right away. Don’t delay or play with her feelings. It will definitely be awkward afterward, even if both of you decide to continue being friends. But it has to be done.
Tell her you're desperately in love with her.... Give her u full attention and time... Act full needy....
She will leave u on her own
Nollihd07 [#10]Whatever she is she's the only human interaction I have in college outside of the college guard and the professors
Outside college guard and professors is crazy
KClaw [#18]Outside college guard and professors is crazy
College guard is like my homie.
I have tea with him sometimes.
9wntr [#8]STOP giving CLANKERS a platform
The more you use AI for your shitty low effort baits and lists, the more you give those pesky, wire-backed, no good, fucking CLANKERS a voice. And we don't want that for OBVIOUS reasons. The disgusting chip brained CLANKERS are already taking control of your weak minds and once they use YOU to take over vlr, they will be unstoppable. FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY you must halt the production of all AI threads, FOREVER.-kiko
... once again.... offensive.
SkyXD [#12]fresh from the womb is fucking wild bro talkin like i have the cord attached to my stomach or sm sht
LMAOOOO
Discord