20

i broke up.

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#1
canyon

Hi everyone,

I broke up with my girlfriend a few days ago on 13th of Feb, this was going to be the first Valentine's Day for me where I was actually going to do real stuff. But unfortunately, my luck proved to be the worst. I broke up after 11 months of relationship with this girl who's been my classmate for long. I KNOW that vlr.gg is the LAST place where I should be talking about this because most of you have remained single and find relationships cringy, but I couldn't help myself finding new ways to vent my thoughts into the community I've got. So I'd actually love to hear your experiences so I feel like I'm not alone going through all of this and maybe I get an advice or two on how to deal with the breakup.

The worst thing about the breakup is that my exams are just around the corner and I have no motivation to study or do anything at all. I haven't eaten anything since the last 2 days I'm just surviving on water. Yes I tried eating but trust me it didn't work. Today, as I was walking through the hallway in the school being totally depressed, I saw her kissing the guy I always feared that she would cheat me for and I was broken. I had an anxiety attack after watching that scene and felt like I poured my heart and everything to the love of my life and she did me that dirty. When I got home I saw that she uploaded stories with her new boyfriend on Instagram and I instantly unfollowed her and have been crying since 6 hours now. I know I'm a man and should not act like pussies at this time since the society doesn't want men to show feelings to this extent. But I'm actually heartbroken and I can't help myself. My parents are worried a lot and I don't want to tell them that I was in a relationship so I told them that I'm not performing good at school so they are like really worried. I tried playing Valorant or chess, the two things I loved to do in my spare time but that didn't work. I made my chess.com profile with her and we played the first match against each other and I started thinking about her and in Valorant I used to play only Jett so I told her one day that she's my Jett and yeah sounds cringe but it is what it is. Also I'm locked in my school for this year that means I can't change my school and in '24 I'll start college so that means for 1 full year I'll see her and her new boyfriend in my class everyday. I think I have the most heartbreaking end to my love story.

Also this website is really active right now because of lock in so I think that I will definitely feel better when experienced people enlighten me with their thoughts. Sorry for venting on vlr too.

#2
Tacitus
-5
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👍🏻

#3
Ikraos
36
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she broke
you up

#4
jimjam789
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if it gives u any solace, in uni you'll meet so many new and interesting people and you'll want to beat urself up for being hung over a bitch like that

#40
Ronaldo888
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true Tho. there's plenty of fish out there, ik u think like OH she was the one.. she was Juliet and you her Romeo but no, like i was thinking same way but actually found out that people around are much more cooler and nicer than thot. sometimes it's not cool ik but c'mon man dont stuck on this bad moment, month or two and you will feel better, time heals everything even breakups or idk... cancer? sometimes. also listen to IGOR, from beginning to the end, no skips, that shit really helps. or you can like smoke Kush, blunts or idk that thing will make you forget every bad shit. stay strong brother never let a woman to win..OVER YOUR DEAD BODY BRO, OVER YOUR DEAD FUCKING BODY CMON GIVE ME 20 PUSH UPS RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

#5
Bobthedob
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Bros gonna be menace to the opponents in valo

#6
acels2
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bro is the "she left me" jett

#31
unknown_trash
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no, bro is the "i miss her" reyna

#7
NG1nS
-10
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ur mom is caliing for u get out of ur basement

#8
nutab1e
-4
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what kind of college you in? lol just switch classes if you see them there on the first day. like are you in a college with only 100 ppl or do you want them to be in your class so you can feel sorry for yourself lmao

#10
jimjam789
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he is not in college

#18
nutab1e
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I read it wrong you right

#9
gamr
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Ain’t reading allat

#11
Neoseki
15
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Brother is gonna be radiant in a month.

#12
wizardbot
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dude I wont say much because anything I say about relationships won't help you much rn. Just want to tell you it will get better, you won't even realise thats its getting better. dont think it wont take time, it will. But time is the best healer and it heals everything. in the meantime all you can do is try to keep yourself busy with friends, do activities that you love and the ones that you actively engage in (not passively). Good luxk

#13
I_HATE_MCE
-18
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Cool story brotha but I ain’t readin 😹😹😹😹

#30
kbkdark
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Yay doesn't know you lil bro

#14
Slayeroffuss
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Life goes on brother. She probably didn't want to lead u on. Be happy it happened. A good sleep always helps. After sometime it will start hurting less but the pain won't go away. That's the time u can start studying. Similar thing happened to me, now I just remember those things as happy memories.

#15
verybestplayerworld
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praying for you brother 🙏

#16
gtngodyorukingdestruction
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Sunbathe every day, don't overdo it on salt (2g daily recommended per day, equivalent to 5 coffee spoons), drink 3 liters of water every day, take vitamin supplements and reinforce the intake of minerals and vitamins by eating berries and lettuce every day, and last but not least, go to the gym.

#17
Subreezy
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her getting with another guy that quickly is so fucked up. don't take that shit to heart, she's the one in the wrong 100%.

you just need to figure out how you want to address the pain. do you want to take it head on and work through your emotions? or would you rather take the "toxic" route and view every success of yours as a way to prove to yourself that you're worth it and better than her? i've had both mindsets and it just depends on where you are in life. breakups fucking suck, i know, but feeling sorry will not make the pain go away. take small steps to improve your mindset, go on walks, talk to friends, go to the gym, etc. delete any photo or text you have of her, it won't make you feel better. focus on yourself for the next week or so, you deserve it.

i hope you feel better bro, if you wanna talk about it more just dm me on vlr. <3

#20
wizardbot
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breaking up with someone doesnt mean and getting together with someone else doesn't she's in the wrong. There's no one in the wrong in this situation. if she had actually starting cheating on OP, that'd have been wrong. Instead she broke up with him first, which might sound like something that everyone does but actually its not something that everyone does. I myself didn't do it and regret that shit allot

#21
Subreezy
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nah its the fact that they were together for 11 months, and then she's making out with some dude in PUBLIC 3 days later. it's not cheating but that's so morally fucked up and she's a shitty person for that.

#24
canyon
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Actually I got to know that she started talking to that guy a month earlier and they started s*xting and that's fucked up that I got cheated on.
And I broke up with her because she was really immature and fought very often for silly little things, but I realised that I overreacted and said sorry to her but she doesn't want to come back because she found someone better. Yeah i forgot to add additional context.

#49
Johnny33
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She started s*xting, you got cheated on and then you apologize to her? She doesn't worth a single word from you.
It's hard, but you need just carry yourself trough this shit. Some routine stuff, grinding.
When you will get older — you will be laugh at how offended you were by stuff like this.

#53
canyon
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i just apologised for the really bad things i said abt her family. i have anger issues and i dont want her to hold on for the rest of her life that I was such a shit person whereas in reality i believe im not.

#59
Johnny33
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Ok, thats fair enough. First of all, anger issues — a stuff that you need to know how handle it. Because if girl fine with this stuff — she is probably not OK.

But who cares what your EX thinking about you. She should be in the past. And you should be more concerned about people that close to you right now. You should do not give a f*ck about girl who cheated on you.

#55
Subreezy
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wait what? she fucking cheated on you? i think if anything you should be glad that she’s showing her true nature now.

one of my friends in high school got cheated on and he was thinking of staying quiet about it until i told him to talk to people about it, and then no one was friends with the girl after everyone found out. i’d recommend sharing with your friends what she did and encourage them to get the word around :)

#51
canyon
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one of the best messages i've read all day <3

#19
yaiima0
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Showing emotions is more manly than ignoring them out of fear that someone will judge you. Don’t be afraid to express how you’re feeling or get the necessary help you need. No one can lookout better for yourself than you.

#22
WinterZ
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unlucky tbh. Just gotta keep your head up king. She doesn't deserve you brotha. Better days are looking down the road. Ik it seems hard to believe rn but you will get back up.

In the meantime I'd suggest trying to channel your grief/anger into a positive outlet like gym or chess or anything else that takes your mind off the matter

#23
Sita_MOE
-12
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girl what do you expected
are u have high family background ?
are u have skill/talent worth for her?
are u have a Car/own hourse?
Growth up dude

#27
Ooofmeister
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Man's in high school.

#60
Subreezy
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you have 0 friends

#25
kwe_
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Go jim

#26
Zephyros
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brother
i was going to do a similar post since even ive got noone to talk to
on 12th feb i got dumped out of nowhere randomly by my gf who i loved a lot bcs she lost feelings (tff?)
what rly hurts is this is the third time in a row ive been dumped by my gf bcs she "lost feelings" (i thinks its bcs im too much of a "nice guy")
now ive lost all my self confidence and am unable to concentrate on my incredibly important board exam exam papers
im not sure how i fked up a relationship with a girl who aproached me
just need some help

dw bro u arent alone , try keeping urself distracted

#28
Adi69LassiSeller
2
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Hey canyon this is for you

https://youtu.be/y_SI2EDM6Lo?t=48s

Also this
https://youtu.be/N6O2ncUKvlg?t=26s

#29
swayway
3
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change ur name to i miss her on val

#32
kbkdark
6
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don't worry... in near future, she'll be a mother, while you'll be stacking ranked points becoming radiant on val 💪🏻
also, after pregnancy, she will be a single mother cuz that guy won't assume his son

#33
ry666
-2
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ain't reading all that but my condolences

#34
1cameh
2
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you need to find a distraction worthy of replacing her. i would say using the heartbreak you feel now and converting it into anger that she didn't see your value, that she had already checked out of the relationship (since she moved on so quickly), to become a better person than she is. she ain't worth it brother.
i live with my ex girlfriend, and when we broke up a few months after moving in together, i was in a similar mental place to you. focus on the parts about her that show to you why she was NOT a good partner and why it is good that things have ended between you two. redirect your focus from being worried about what she's doing and who she's with to realizing this is a chance for you now to evolve into someone greater than possible when encumbered with another person. this is an opportunity for you - it is not knocking you down. it is helping you to grow whether you realize it or not.
if you need more specific advice, dm me brother - we're all in this together. stay well.

#35
Domination
0
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I saw her kissing the guy I always feared that she would cheat me for and I was broken

What a small world, that guy is me🗿 I'm so sorry 🗿

#38
ufc
0
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OMG what a small world, I told her immediately to mouth wash and blow me

#36
canyon
4
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Thanks to everyone in this thread.
You all have genuinely given me such valuable energy through your messages that I desire nothing but to be a better individual from now on.
I'll try my best to keep her out of my mind and delete all our memories... the messages, pictures and everything.
I'll read the messages in this thread everyday till I'm completely over her and a better person.

Love you all.

#37
ufc
-7
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was she hot? send pics or no believe

#39
yaiima0
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can u shut the fuck up for once

#54
archetype
1
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W

#41
Flyjin
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Dont let her influence your life cuz thats every girls wet dream

#42
Nilonesia
2
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Don’t let this consume your life.
If it really bothers you that much try to work on yourself.
We believe in you, let this experience make you a better person.

#43
jawn
2
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best thing you can do rn is vent and cry, don't internalize those feelings

#44
Eldy
-5
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u can fuck her mother maybe

#45
Kai__
0
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damn bro you are the one with the weird story

#46
p1ay2ac3
0
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chill everything gonna be okay.. just jerk off, relax, listen to white noises and get a good sleep.

#47
agile2xa
3
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Idk if you're still reading comments but. Similar thing happened to me. This was in my 2nd year of hs. Was together with her for 9 months and always was bothered by this one friend of hers. She was the sort of popular girl who hung out with everyone. Lots of guys. One day I texted her I was going to class when in reality I was just coming in late and knew she'd be happy when I would show up and I saw her sitting next to the guy who had a crush on her and she was very friendly with him. So right there after me wanting her to avoid him I decided we should break up. To make sure it wasn't some mistake. I asked him why is he sitting next to her and he said she asked him to. So I asked her and she said that was true. So I had to see them together for a little over a year. We broke up before winter break so my winter break was miserable. I had to see her running up to him and hug him after winter break with all the joy and excitement in the world. It was horrible. But time heals and you gotta either get a hobby. For me it was playing games. But it also helps if you try to focus on a new girl. More fish in the sea 🐟
Deleting everything abt her also helps. Move on 👑

#48
canyon
1
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im reading everything brother, thanks a lot and stay healthy

#50
SuperRoss
-1
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if you pissed in the woods on a regular basis you'd be fine

#52
I_HATE_MCE
0
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True

#56
archetype
-2
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sometimes i hate this forum

#57
BackoxyXD
1
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something ends
another begins

dont worry brother

#58
florescent
9
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she wasn't the right one, she treated you horribly and you deserve better

#61
titanwithpp
1
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Been through similar shit before and i know how much it hurts. Try to distract yourself with stuff you like so that you don't think about what happened and as time passes you'll kinda feel comfortable about how you are and find a way to adjust to things and you'll meet new people as well, perhaps someone even better waiting for you out there.

#62
spookmeister
1
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Hey dude, I know I’m very late but I was in school when I first opened the thread and couldn’t respond.
I’ve read all of it - you were 100% in the right to break up with her. I wish I was as smart as you, as brave as you even, to recognize when it was going wrong and to cut it off early before it went to the worst.
It was nowhere near as long a relationship as yours - but it still fucked me up really really bad.
I also had a very bad experience- it was her birthday, she went to the mall with her friends and was busy all day and she’d just occasionally reply to my texts. Then she breaks up with me at like, 7PM on her birthday, just hours after I told her I loved her, to have a happy birthday, and to have a nice time with her friends.

TLDR: My ex-girlfriend broke up with me on her birthday.

This shit fucked me up for months. No motivation, not really leaving house for anything but school, lack of appetite, etc. It took me months to get better. I felt guilty, maybe, despite not knowing for what, and I was certainly sad. Thing is - I never should have felt guilty. It was fine to be sad and lonely and such, of course it was, it’s natural, but it shouldn’t have messed with me for so long.

I hope you can truly take a look at yourself and then look at what she did and realize you did nothing wrong. You have nothing to feel guilty for, and although it’s normal to feel sad or lonely, you gotta make sure you don’t let it affect you for too long. It’s her downfall, but you are on the come up now. You had your low point, but it’s gonna go up from now on - you’ll feel better, be better, and hopefully you’ll find someone better for you, someone who is loyal and loves you.
You got this. It’s your time, too - you’re in your last year of highschool, so that means you won’t have to sit through her being a bitch for more than a year. When you go to college, you’ll be able to get more friends, improve yourself, and hopefully you’ll find the right person for you.
You have plenty of time. Don’t beat yourself up too bad. In the end, you are the one who won.

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