Sh1rpie
Country: Romania
Registered: July 14, 2022
Last post: August 29, 2023 at 3:49 AM
Posts: 482
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i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.

When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.

I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.

I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walking
in my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.

Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.

posted 6 months ago

So if heretics would get 2nd in champs would they be a better team this year than say, DRX or PRX/LOUD?

posted 6 months ago

Fnatic throughout this year had a super easy run.
Only a few “challenging” games.

In lockin, they fought against FURIA, 100Trash and against Shitenels, the most overrated team to ever exist.
Then after, fought NAVI who has been proven to be straight ass no matter what phase of the season.
Only real game they had was against LOUD, which they fraudulently won.

Tokyo they had free playoffs + fighting fraudulent NRG core (typical NA overrated players)
Then right after, cringe PRX with sub. Then EG, which isn’t hard without their map of Fracture. Then EG again, just banning fracture and having the easiest grand final.

And now in champs they have NRG fraud core again, and overrated zeta (they were never good), and BLG who beat the NRG frauds, and shouldn’t have even gone through tbh. Then they lose to an actual team, LOUD. This win against “FUT” another fraud Emea team, once again.
Then against a 6th place cursed DRX. Tell me, how is that not fraudulent??

posted 6 months ago

Jampee xdxdxd

posted 6 months ago

Lose to who? GIANTS? OMEGALUL

posted 7 months ago

KOI AND SHEYGOAT TO THE MOOON

posted 7 months ago

Goudas and his goat

posted 7 months ago

This is the best that yays coaching can offer?

posted 7 months ago

Both of my parents are way shorter than me and neither are dwarfs

posted 7 months ago

The ability to conjure a mass of energy equivalent to the tsar bomba with my hands

posted 8 months ago

Retired when cis scene died, it makes sense

posted 8 months ago

Ur not ready for 40 celsius romanian mountain ranges

posted 8 months ago

Mr feast clears

posted 8 months ago

infinite stratos defo up there, LN is amazing but manga isnt bad either

posted 9 months ago

Bronzil try not to overhype notonlineonlanpass challenge: impossible

posted 9 months ago

yeah but.. its koi

posted 9 months ago

it isnt
top 3 from masters go to champs, not top 3 from split 1.

posted 9 months ago

both those games occured after the war (where they lost their orgs support)
LFT team was .04 or something seconds from going to masters

posted 9 months ago

i carry u in rank bro

posted 9 months ago

where source? If true then they are wasting their time, need to rework breeze into shorter map and easier holdable and then readd it and remove pearl forever.

posted 9 months ago

TOP 10 ITW RN:
Drunken Zillionaires (with villu)
CT
FFG Season 1
TSM
WWW
Drunken Zillionaires (without villu)
FFG Season 3
EUB
FRF
Sinatraa's Girlfriend

posted 9 months ago

goated

posted 9 months ago

my legacy fr

posted 9 months ago

holy shit are all of these my copypastas

posted 9 months ago

gl, iMgoat >> Jay 'jL' Leviticus and siuhy > STOKO

posted 9 months ago

zywoo is gonna stumble on his belly rolls on his way to the grand finals stage and break his neck, ez game for GL.

posted 9 months ago

dog and balls nt

posted 9 months ago

faker
ShoeMaker
yagao

posted 9 months ago

fall off from top1 itw to around top6/contender like LEV in 2022 and then sign something to replace d3ffo ahead of 2023 and dominate the world again

posted 9 months ago

extremely random jpop songs (sakanaction, imase etc)
Inazuma Eleven OPs
d4vd songs in general

posted 9 months ago

rip sayaspieler

posted 9 months ago

classic obelisk moment

posted 9 months ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kagoEGKHZvU&ab_channel=imase

You guys need to start listening to this guy, he has mastery level 100 in his vocal range.

posted 9 months ago

tuyz in S but khalil in A is criminal

posted 10 months ago

🗿

posted 10 months ago

jajajajajajajajajajajajajaja

posted 10 months ago

AGUEROOOOOOOO

posted 10 months ago

i miss chamber and pre-dash nerf jett, chamber trademark and headhunter should've never been nerfed :(
(TP debatable but OP was the only real thing that was ruining valorant during chamber meta, if u think otherwise u never played chamber or played vs him during his peak on release)

posted 10 months ago

Whoever is coaching and IGLing this team, kick them.

Get Enzo from Apeks and sign an actually good coach, maybe ENGH and Gray coaching duo from former gambit for 2nd split.

posted 10 months ago

Asspass fans coping in comments in 3... 2... 1... commencing

posted 10 months ago

where sheydos

posted 10 months ago
  1. Oni
    2.Radiant Crisis
  2. Recon
  3. Champions
  4. Glitchcock
posted 10 months ago

sheydos? hes gambit's aim god

posted 10 months ago

trembo you picked the wrong player to fanboy, time to switch to sheydos.

posted 10 months ago

the goat has spoken

posted 10 months ago

oni

posted 10 months ago

We never got this promotional shit for EMEA VCC did we?

PS: leo "minte" tjocksson is a professional vcc rigger

posted 10 months ago

their util usage to support f0rsen is gone, they just look lost now

posted 11 months ago
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