There was a time I believed in improvement. I believed in the climb. Rank after rank, game after game, I thought that if I just played enough, something would change. That I would change.
But ranked does not change. It watches.
The system knows me. It knows every missed shot, every mistimed flash, every round where my hands forget what my mind is screaming. It places me exactly where I do not belong. I cannot escape.
I queue again.
I am matched with four others, each trapped in their own version of this hell. One rages, one is silent, one has already given up, and one pretends this is winnable. I am all of them at once. I speak, but no one hears. I listen, but nothing helps.
We lose pistol.
We lose the eco.
We lose the game before it has even begun.
I try to adapt. I try to improve. I watch guides, I change sensitivity, I promise myself this will be the game. But the outcome is predetermined. The shots don’t land. The timings are always wrong. The enemy always knows.
And still, I queue again.
Because what else is there?
Valorant does not let me leave. It keeps me suspended in this endless cycle. Just enough belief to queue one more time. Not enough to win. Never enough to win.
And yet.
I still queue.
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