schlong
Country: South Korea
Registered: May 21, 2021
Last post: January 21, 2022 at 12:37 AM
Posts: 1174
1 2 3 4 •• 23

bro i have over 1000 comments on this site, I'm too much of a no life to fall for that lmao

posted 25 minutes ago

Since the academy team is so cracked, if the main TSM roster is at least 75% of what the academy roster is, there is no way TSM is not at least top 5 NA

posted 42 minutes ago

zeek, pattitek, ardiis, koldamenta, ozzy, keloqz, nukkye, avova, meddo, and hoody will all be in the emea playoffs
meaning there will be 10 players in the emea playoffs who have played for G2 in the past, which is pretty wild

posted 6 hours ago

but what ab shahza- oh wait

posted 6 hours ago

nah this seems too reasonable for a region like NA, how ab double duelist instead?

posted 6 hours ago

that could be true but considering that there were reports of beef which led to keloqz being benched in the first place I'm not convinced that's the case

posted 6 hours ago

G2 would have still won with mixwell, the real difference this time around was nukkye getting comfortable in his support role and meddo stepping up in the past two games. not because keloqz played better than mixwell did on jett

posted 6 hours ago

That seals the deal. I am no longer a G2 fan. I’ve been a fan since 2014 and a Mixwell tier 3 sub. I officially will not be planning on buying any more G2 merch or purchasing their NFTs. Carlos is officially the worst esports owner in history. I'm moving on to FPX, where they know how to build a real superteam

posted 11 hours ago

That seals the deal. I am no longer a G2 fan. I’ve been a fan since 2014 and a Mixwell tier 3 sub. I officially will not be planning on buying any more G2 merch or purchasing their NFTs. Carlos is officially the worst esports owner in history.

posted 11 hours ago

G2 should have at least kept him in the lineup even if not as a duelist, G2 just looked lost. HTW has look far more like a tier 1 team so far

posted 1 day ago

An open letter to God:

Hey it's me, schlong. I just want to apologize for any sinful behavior I may have demonstrated this past week. I know I haven't been coming to church lately, and that I have not used the cleanest language when talking to others. Please know that I have received your heavenly message after getting Bind 5 times in a row just now. I ask for your forgiveness and pray that in exchange for me being a better Christian, you will one day bestow your mercy upon us and remove Bind, a.k.a the devil's butthole, from Valorant

In Jesus' name I pray, amen

posted 4 days ago

no

posted 6 days ago

?

posted 6 days ago

cod mobile would beg to differ

posted 1 week ago

Other team is just gonna instaban jett sadge

posted 1 week ago

mob psycho or code geass

posted 1 week ago

in the optimal scenario, she will be able to rotate quickly, stun chokes, and be really good at retaking

posted 2 weeks ago

true

posted 2 weeks ago

was your opinion so special and important that u had to make another thread just for it instead of putting it in an existing one

posted 2 weeks ago

she doesn't replace jett imo. Even if her movement is on par or better, the lack of a smoke limits her ability to escape engagements like jett can. Although I could see her being better at entering into a site than jett once ppl master her.

posted 2 weeks ago

probably abx since it seems LG is pretty much set with their lineup

posted 2 weeks ago

just click on "participants" near the top then click the team whose roster u want to see

posted 2 weeks ago

thats being generous tbh

posted 2 weeks ago

it’s so annoying seeing people being up a match fixing scandal from 6 years ago whenever someone mentions the name shahzam or steel. they’re completely different ppl now so it’s not really fair to bring up their pasts when talking about anything to do with them. also on the topic of annoying things about vlr.gg, stop making “best user threads”. they’re just dumb ways for ppl who use this site way too much to stroke their ego and feel good about their crappy baits

posted 2 weeks ago

weird way to spell Jingg and f0rsaken

posted 3 weeks ago

who should guild pick up as their last player if the rumors are try
for context the roster so far will probably look like:
leo
sayf
koldamemta
trexx

my personal vote is keloqz, unless sayf is perma jett now

posted 1 month ago

Pretty sure he said hes open to playing in NA, more so than even in KR
What team could use him?

posted 1 month ago

ik they are trialing with ec1s at the moment who, tbh, is way better than people are making him out to be, but isn’t it also an option for hiko to take the igl role? I’m like 70% he has had the igl role in csgo before and he seems like a dude with a lot of game sense, and that would allow for 100T to potentially find like a cracked jett player instead of having to search for an igl

posted 1 month ago

uncommon kanye fan L, unless u really are from sierra leone

posted 1 month ago

we already have CIS:GO please beat gambit and don’t let this game become ValoRussia

posted 1 month ago

maybe in 20 years he’ll be on G3

posted 1 month ago

#C9WIN

posted 1 month ago

Ik c9 just beat VS but they are our last hope for a korean to win champs, so we should all switch to c9 flair

posted 1 month ago
  1. VKS: almost beat gambit the masters 3 winner, and was friendly with them even after they lost, also they have (gtn)jesus himself
  2. Furia: actually have a reason to be mad, played close game against SEN
  3. VK: could have won without a glitch but instead used the illegal cam and is stirring up drama, also they had ntk on their team for a while which is a L
posted 1 month ago

.

posted 1 month ago

finally a team sinatraa can join

posted 1 month ago

do u have more scrimbux noyn

posted 1 month ago

NV: Victor
FNS is a great igl. Yay is their star player. crashies and marved provide both excellent support and plenty of kills. Victor is question mark for me here, as he had some great showings last tournament and other matches were he left something to be desired. If he can consistently play to his potential, NV have a great chance to run it back (get the phoniex pun?)

posted 1 month ago

Maybe not, but i feel like he’s too talented to not play him after having 6 months to work with him

posted 1 month ago

Let me know if there is anyone i missed or should mention

Team Secret: DubsteP
Let’s be honest, no one has high expectations for this team at the moment, however if the man who rivaled f0rsaken in sea can come up big on LAN, this team has the chance to make it out of groups

Furia: Khalil
Furia surprised some with a meteoric rise to the top during the SA LCQ, and a large part of it was thanks to this man. He is a great sentinel, clutching our rounds and consistently getting 2 or 3 kills when locking down a site. If he can shut down opposing teams entries, Furia will flourish this tournament

SEN: ShahzaM
His leadership and importance to the team is unquestioned. However he had up and down performances individually during the last Masters event. If he can return to the fragging consistency we’re used to seeing, SEN will also return to their consistent ways of winning

VKS: basically anyone except Sacy
The best brazilian Sova was playing jett last time we saw him in VCT, evidence of how VKS feel they lack firepower. In order for them to avoid a quick exit, they need someone else to step up and help him out

TL: Jamppi
This man has been playing out of his mind lately. After an underwhelming stage 3, he proved both his talent and flexibility during the red bull home ground tournament. With nivera providing great support in the absence of kryptix, and Scream being as scary as ever, Jamppi’s hot streak may be what puts TL over the top

NV: Victor
FNS is a great igl. Yay is their star player. crashies and marved provide both excellent support and plenty of kills. Victor is question mark for me here, as he had some great showings last tournament and other matches were he left something to be desired. If he can consistently play to his potential, NV have a great chance to run it back (get the phoniex pun?)

VS: Lakia
The star of Nuturn during stage 2, Lakia joined an already stacked VS team in stage 3. The sova master however was only seen once in Berlin, playing skye on a map which VS were destroyed by Gambit. His talent is unquestionable, and if VS can find a way to put him in a position to succeed they will certainly exit Group D as the strongest team

X10: foxz
He may have flown under the radar, but foxz was one of the bright spots for X10 in their showing at reykjavik. He has recently been playing nearly all the duelist agents in SEA tournaments, and that flexibility along with his mechanics could provide patiphan with a budding star in Champions

Acend: starxo
It’s easy to just call this team cNed and friends, but in reality everyone on this team has their moments. An example of this is starxo’s stage 3 EMEA playoffs run, where he dazzled with multi kill rounds on the support role. It feels like this man is the heart of the team, which made it even more disappointing when he had an average performance on LAN. If he can start getting his mojo back, the sky’s the ceiling for this team

Gambit: d3ffo
I had a hard time picking between the finals mvp, chronicle, and Gambits jett player, d3ffo, but i decided to go with the latter. D3ffo did not have the best showing in EMEA playoffs, and as a result was not considered near the top of jett players by many. However once this guy got on LAN, he showed us his full potential, displaying flashes of brilliance and, most importantly, holding his own against opposing jetts like yay and keloqz. If he can continue his upward trajectory, it will make Gambits title defense that much easier

KRU: NagZ
NagZ is the teams primary jett player/awper, but if we look at his stats in his first two masters appearances so far he does not put up the stats expected of one. To be fair KRU as a team have had up and down performances on LAN, but NagZ has seemed to struggle especially. However this is not to say he has only done bad, as he has performed great in his own region and is especially good at seeking out first bloods. If KRU want to make it into the top four this time around, NagZ will need to take a leap forward for his team

Full Sense: PTC
JohnOlsen gets the spotlight most of the time, but don’t sleep on this man PTC. Full Sense have always been one of the top SEA teams, but this mans evolution is a big part of how they were able to take APAC by storm. His flexibility is something to be admired, as he seems to have an affinity with every agent. This was displayed when he gave us a show with KAY/O on Ascent vs Nuturn. His deep agent pool makes planning against him and Full Sense very difficult for other teams

C9B: Xeppa
As was shown in the article written recently about him, Xeppa reached a new peak during the NA LCQ. The former csgo pro was able to utilize the agent most similar to his former game, KAY/O, in order to wreak havoc among the other teams. It was because of him that C9B were able to take down 100T, who had just made it to semis in masters 3, and Rise, who looked to be the Cinderella story of NA. If he performs as good on LAN as he did online, which seems likely given past experience in csgo, C9B have a good chance to make it out of the Group of Death

Crazy Racoon: Munchkin
Ever since Masters 2 when Crazy Raccoon made themselves known to the scene in their match against V1, Munchkin has always been considered one of if not the best player on the team. He was the bright spot for the team even in games when he lost badly. One could make the argument that if he had played better in his most recent game against Gambit, they could have taken a map off of the eventual champs. When he pops off, he gives his team a chance to win

Keyd Stars: mwerza
This player may be the biggest question mark coming into the tournament. Regarded as one of the best talents in Brazil (and in the world, if you are a certain brazilian fan), he terrorized his region on GLB for a long time. Now that he is teaming up with the best BR team, he is expected to be the one to take Keyd Stars to the next level. If he is able to adapt to his new role and provide a one two punch along with heat, this team will be a dark horse in the playoffs

Fnatic: Derke
The Masters 2 runner ups have had a bit of a rough streak, dropping matches in lower tier tournaments and missing out on masters 3 entirely. One player who exemplified these struggles was Derke, as he struggled to return to the form we saw during their 2nd place finish in Iceland. A particular area he is seeing decreased productivity in is FKPR, which means his entries have not been as effective. He certainly is not being held back by a lack of talent, and if he can return to form perhaps Fnatic can return to the finals

posted 1 month ago

mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry.

posted 1 month ago

I would steal jetts clothes, just so that i could get a whiff

posted 1 month ago

feels like korean scene is just getting smaller sadge

posted 1 month ago
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