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ik it’s probably the last thing u wanna hear but genuinely go get professional help bro this thinking isn’t safe at all
GambleNats noo. This isn't right to do objectively. Venting on an online forum. And it's possible that you may not have a person to vent this to in real life or even online. But if you want any kind of support, you can talk to me. Just a stranger to stranger, talk about your troubles and I'll listen. Either way I hope you'll be okay and get some professional help if possible.