Hey! Love what you are going for. Just a little bit of background about myself so I hope you can see where I am coming from when I say all this, but up to you what you do and don't take from it! Been a CS:GO shoutcaster for 2 years, run many tournaments and shit like that, as well as I do a little bit of editing myself, have worked for a couple of organizations as an editor as well as a GFX artist :D
First off, I would highly recommend recording at a higher FPS. I think this looks around 45-60, but recording at 120 will provide no problems with jittering as you can see at certain points in the video. If you do struggle with FPS, I would recommend trying to do simple troubleshooting like lowering the settings of the game, allocating more of your PC to run the game, etc.
Another point to note is that people are only there to see the highlights. I used to do EXACTLY what you did a couple of years back when I would just include around 5-10 seconds of footage before the actual shot, and it slows the mood of the video right down and basically can because of a lack of interest. A perfect example would be the 1080 degree Operator shot, we spent more time looking at you turning than we did the shot. Had you have edited that down to a 360 then blasting him, it would have kept the tempo of the video quite high and to be honest, you would find more in, lots more clips, more interest, etc. (hope you can see where I am coming from here)
Playing with velocity took me about a year to understand and to take note of, but sometimes changing the velocity is something I had learned to do, which is especially good for syncing. Playing with velocity isn't something you should do right away, but if you do want to continue doing these it's definitely worth the research!
Syncing - this is a HUGE thing! I would highly recommend syncing your shots with the song because it makes the song stand out more but also makes the video a lot more interesting if you were to have shots on the song, because it feels right, like the song was designed for the fragmovie rather than the other way around. Example of this is at );56, where you shoot, then the kick comes in. Simple editing would mean that kill is on the kick, and feel a lot cleaner, which will make it a lot more interesting.
A lot of this might have seemed harsh, but trust me, you have talent! Keep working on your quality and keep practicing editing, and you'll be good! I would highly recommend editing clip at a time to the music, and trying to sync stuff up as best as you can, then move on to the next, because I get more of a highlight reel vibe rather than a fragmovie vibe. Other than that bro keep at it, you'll get there!