I know i like to shitpost here, but today i need serious advice.
If i have friends but everytime i hang out with them and i go home i feel unhappy, should i stop meeting them? Or any suggestion?
5
Friends
posted in
Off Topic
Comments:
Threaded
Linear
valulrantefanboy [#5]get a GF or a wife
that is impossible achievement for VLR users, I'd shoot for easier speedrun "Touch Grass"
DELUSIONAL_JCSTANI_FAN [#2]what about hanging out with them is making you unhappy? or is it a random general feeling
They keep making jokes that i uncomfortable with. Like i knew they dont mean it bad, but im very uncomfortable with it. And i cant talk to them that i dont like their jokes because some reason i cant tell
fatpoipoiiii [#8]They keep making jokes that i uncomfortable with. Like i knew they dont mean it bad, but im very uncomfortable with it. And i cant talk to them that i dont like their jokes because some reason i cant tell
Then say to them stop talking about these jokes bruh unless they will keep going
valulrantefanboy [#5]get a GF or a wife
Cant even eat properly, dont have the money to think about one. Dont have time to play around too.
fatpoipoiiii [#8]They keep making jokes that i uncomfortable with. Like i knew they dont mean it bad, but im very uncomfortable with it. And i cant talk to them that i dont like their jokes because some reason i cant tell
i mean honestly if your social life doesn’t depend on them i would just stop hanging out with them. it’s what i did with most of my friends from high school since a lot of them were super fake and whatnot. worked out great for my mental health, started hanging out with friends from a club sports team that i was on and it worked out great. now i don’t have friends since i’m on a gap year and moved away from my hometown :(
andrewdamf [#9]Then say to them stop talking about these jokes bruh unless they will keep going
Its very complicated, so i cant tell them. Im very closed person so i never talk about my problem. They dont know that their joking are problem to me. If u have advice, i can dm u then tell the problem
If your circle of friends doesn't make you comfortable then you should try to make new friends, however the problem may be yourself, go to a psychologist and talk to him about your life, maybe this is just some insecurity of yours that is reflecting in your social life and prevents you from enjoying your friendships. Good luck!
fatpoipoiiii [#10]Cant even eat properly, dont have the money to think about one. Dont have time to play around too.
get off vlr then lmao
andrewdamf [#9]Then say to them stop talking about these jokes bruh unless they will keep going
it’s really not that simple
gtngodyorukingdestruction [#13]If your circle of friends doesn't make you comfortable then you should try to make new friends, however the problem may be yourself, go to a psychologist and talk to him about your life, maybe this is just some insecurity of yours that is reflecting in your social life and prevents you from enjoying your friendships. Good luck!
agreed, therapy is soooooo underrated
DELUSIONAL_JCSTANI_FAN [#11]i mean honestly if your social life doesn’t depend on them i would just stop hanging out with them. it’s what i did with most of my friends from high school since a lot of them were super fake and whatnot. worked out great for my mental health, started hanging out with friends from a club sports team that i was on and it worked out great. now i don’t have friends since i’m on a gap year and moved away from my hometown :(
Im moved away from hometown too although i dont have a lot of friend in hometown too kekeke, all of them are moving to other places. And its not depend on them. Should just look new friends right? Want to go to gym but its expensive like 300.000 rupiah here could eat for 2 weeks with that money. Hear that u can workout without gym but hear people telling thats its not working too u need to go to gym. Is that true?
delusional_paperrex_fan [#3]what is the main reason u are unhappy?
See my reply up there fellow paperrex fan
gtngodyorukingdestruction [#13]If your circle of friends doesn't make you comfortable then you should try to make new friends, however the problem may be yourself, go to a psychologist and talk to him about your life, maybe this is just some insecurity of yours that is reflecting in your social life and prevents you from enjoying your friendships. Good luck!
Yeah i wonder. If i dm u would u give me advice? I dont want public to know my problem kekeke
fatpoipoiiii [#12]Its very complicated, so i cant tell them. Im very closed person so i never talk about my problem. They dont know that their joking are problem to me. If u have advice, i can dm u then tell the problem
Send me on dms we can talk
DELUSIONAL_JCSTANI_FAN [#15]it’s really not that simple
It actually is... I had the same problem, my friends always make fucked up jokes that was just like why. (They would send videos of people getting killed with a meme song or whatever over it)
hiyo [#14]get off vlr then lmao
U can scroll vlr while eating, or pooping, or need a little break when u working something. U really thought everybody here 24 hour watching vlr?
fatpoipoiiii [#17]Im moved away from hometown too although i dont have a lot of friend in hometown too kekeke, all of them are moving to other places. And its not depend on them. Should just look new friends right? Want to go to gym but its expensive like 300.000 rupiah here could eat for 2 weeks with that money. Hear that u can workout without gym but hear people telling thats its not working too u need to go to gym. Is that true?
i think something that could help would be to find an affordable hobby, it’s a great way to find people with similar interests. as for the gym thing i don’t think it’s absolutely necessary if you just want to get into shape, although if you want to build muscle and stuff i would recommend, but not if you can’t afford it. i’m sure there are plenty of ways to build muscle and work out without going to the gym. dunno
fatpoipoiiii [#18]See my reply up there fellow paperrex fan
maybe try find someone to vent to? like a family member
delusional_paperrex_fan [#26]maybe try find someone to vent to? like a family member
If i can i think i dont talk it to vlr.gg this is basically the last place on earth to talk this kekeke. Its good tho, anonymous
fatpoipoiiii [#17]Im moved away from hometown too although i dont have a lot of friend in hometown too kekeke, all of them are moving to other places. And its not depend on them. Should just look new friends right? Want to go to gym but its expensive like 300.000 rupiah here could eat for 2 weeks with that money. Hear that u can workout without gym but hear people telling thats its not working too u need to go to gym. Is that true?
you don't need to depend on gym to get strong and build muscle, search about calisthenics, it's very cool and less expensive
inlucid [#28]you don't need to depend on gym to get strong and build muscle, search about calisthenics, it's very cool and less expensive
Home workout right? Maybe i should try that. Some people that i knew also do 50 pushup a day dude pretty buff too. Is that method working also?
DELUSIONAL_JCSTANI_FAN [#16]agreed, therapy is soooooo underrated
I have been in therapy and it was very good for me, the main reason for therapy was my serious anxiety problems but it even helped me with social skills. Today I can talk to people even outside my social circle very easily.
fatpoipoiiii [#20]Yeah i wonder. If i dm u would u give me advice? I dont want public to know my problem kekeke
ok
fatpoipoiiii [#29]Home workout right? Maybe i should try that. Some people that i knew also do 50 pushup a day dude pretty buff too. Is that method working also?
Lmao u cant be just buff doing pushups, u need consistency trying your max everyday with a diet and thats hard for someone that has low money and time
fatpoipoiiii [#29]Home workout right? Maybe i should try that. Some people that i knew also do 50 pushup a day dude pretty buff too. Is that method working also?
i'd recommend starting slow so it becomes easier to build a habit, try to focus on the quality and not quantity. there are a lot of good youtube channels that focus on this topic, the best that i can think rn are "calisthenicmoviments" and "The Bioneer". i wish u the best bro
gtngodyorukingdestruction [#30]I have been in therapy and it was very good for me, the main reason for therapy was my serious anxiety problems but it even helped me with social skills. Today I can talk to people even outside my social circle very easily.
massive W
inlucid [#33]i'd recommend starting slow so it becomes easier to build a habit, try to focus on the quality and not quantity. there are a lot of good youtube channels that focus on this topic, the best that i can think rn are "calisthenicmoviments" and "The Bioneer". i wish u the best bro
Bro thx a lot will try. Also can u recommend me routine to start out as begginer?
yourfather [#36]talk to them about what bothers you brother. if youre not sure how they'll react, be subtle about it. I also have friends who are very racist, homophobic, sexist and stuff and I feel bad about it so I know how it must be for you.
Can i dm u? But pls dont troll kekeke
fatpoipoiiii [#37]Can i dm u? But pls dont troll kekeke
ya bro I won't troll you feel free to DM me anytime
Try to look uninterested / try ignoring them when they say those jokes.
I think it'll work, eventually they will ask you if you aren't comfortable.
OR
Try to act like you developed a new set of friends and your current friends will feel left out, they will eventually try to win you back and bow over you.
May I know what kind of jokes they were saying?
Works 50% of the time.
at some point you will need to cut them off, not saying immediately but you will come to a point where you have to decide
in the past my friends and i would find really crude shit funny; stuff like racist/homophobic jokes and slurs etc. they were pretty common at the time but eventually like any normal human being i grew out of it -- realized it was edgy and forced, made people feel like shit, and just in general cringe -- but they never did. even now they act the same way, say the same harmful garbage
lots of people mature and realize they used to be dumb and say dumb things (myself included). but some people just never learn
gtngodyorukingdestruction [#13]If your circle of friends doesn't make you comfortable then you should try to make new friends, however the problem may be yourself, go to a psychologist and talk to him about your life, maybe this is just some insecurity of yours that is reflecting in your social life and prevents you from enjoying your friendships. Good luck!
Not everyone is comfortable enough to seek a Psychologist/Therapist. Specially if you have Asian parents.
They say just shake it off and get off your phone, It'll fix it.
andrewdamf [#41]💀 are u really believing yourfather
I know I bait a lot but I can be serious when someone needs actual help🤠
yourfather [#45]I know I bait a lot but I can be serious when someone needs actual help🤠
Omg wow! Me too!
MilanTheMyth [#44]Not everyone is comfortable enough to seek a Psychologist/Therapist. Specially if you have Asian parents.
They say just shake it off and get off your phone, It'll fix it.
This is not only unique to Asia, anywhere with many conservatives mental health is very much left aside. Here in Brazil it is normal when someone says that he is not feeling well mentally to be called gay, that this is bullshit, that he is spending too much time on his cell phone, or that he misses going to church. It is not easy but if you have self-love you have to create strength to break this fear and seek treatment. There is always someone who cares about you and can help you/give you strength to continue :)
gtngodyorukingdestruction [#50]This is not only unique to Asia, anywhere with many conservatives mental health is very much left aside. Here in Brazil it is normal when someone says that he is not feeling well mentally to be called gay, that this is bullshit, that he is spending too much time on his cell phone, or that he misses going to church. It is not easy but if you have self-love you have to create strength to break this fear and seek treatment. There is always someone who cares about you and can help you/give you strength to continue :)
Told someone my problem, his advice were "just be gratefull bro". Felt like trash after that advice. Thats why i hate telling people my problem and go to vlr for advice kekeke
RomanKatapult [#46]Honestly man you just gotta speak up for yourself and tell them you aren't a fan of what they're saying. Your mental stability and happiness should come first so if what they're doing is impeding that you should take efforts to change that.
Yeah but its complicated. Im the type person that tell something if im not happy about it. But this case i cant tell. Thats why im confused for the first time. Thx for advice man u doing me great help
fisherman [#43]at some point you will need to cut them off, not saying immediately but you will come to a point where you have to decide
in the past my friends and i would find really crude shit funny; stuff like racist/homophobic jokes and slurs etc. they were pretty common at the time but eventually like any normal human being i grew out of it -- realized it was edgy and forced, made people feel like shit, and just in general cringe -- but they never did. even now they act the same way, say the same harmful garbage
lots of people mature and realize they used to be dumb and say dumb things (myself included). but some people just never learn
Yeah, i decide its time to cut them off. Not completely, but keep distance. Probably sometimes hangout or doing activities. Time looking for new friend or productive activity. Try to join volunteer work imma be quite busy for next month
fatpoipoiiii [#53]Yeah, i decide its time to cut them off. Not completely, but keep distance. Probably sometimes hangout or doing activities. Time looking for new friend or productive activity. Try to join volunteer work imma be quite busy for next month
Thx btw for advice
MilanTheMyth [#42]Try to look uninterested / try ignoring them when they say those jokes.
I think it'll work, eventually they will ask you if you aren't comfortable.
OR
Try to act like you developed a new set of friends and your current friends will feel left out, they will eventually try to win you back and bow over you.May I know what kind of jokes they were saying?
Works 50% of the time.
Sure imma dm u if u want. Try the first one, they though im sleeppy or bored. The second one also didnt work. All of them had a lot of friend so if im not there, they just go with another friend
Tenkaii [#55]come suicide with me
For someone who battling suicidal thoughts, please dont joke like that and i hope u win the fight too brother. If i want u can talk ur problem too by dm me. If u dont want too its fine too, best of luck too u.
fatpoipoiiii [#52]Yeah but its complicated. Im the type person that tell something if im not happy about it. But this case i cant tell. Thats why im confused for the first time. Thx for advice man u doing me great help
No problem, I hope everything works out for you man. Stay strong :)
fatpoipoiiii [#56]Sure imma dm u if u want. Try the first one, they though im sleeppy or bored. The second one also didnt work. All of them had a lot of friend so if im not there, they just go with another friend
Just speak out, say them that their jokes aren't so funny.
OR
Sarcastically laugh at their jokes (Risky path)
I've made Homophobic/Xenophobic jokes before, I don't regret it as they were a learning curb.
Feel free to dm me if you want.
justron40 [#58]do whatever make you happy
True dat, but sometimes u need to get out of comfort zone right
Honestly, as complicated or maybe as embarrassing it may sound you really need to talk to them about what makes you uncomfortable and set your boundaries. Ive done that a lot of times and it helps...obviously there are going to be some people who are still going to do whatever they want regardless
and at the point you should just try to find new friends..ik making new friends is pretty hard but if you have a brother or something you can start with that...the most easiest way to make friends is obviously by having shared hobbies with someone..honestly tho its ok if you don't share any hobbies but anyone who respects you and your boundaries you should definitely befriend them ..i hope you find some new friends man
KillFeed [#63]Honestly, as complicated or maybe as embarrassing it may sound you really need to talk to them about what makes you uncomfortable and set your boundaries. Ive done that a lot of times and it helps...obviously there are going to be some people who are still going to do whatever they want regardless
and at the point you should just try to find new friends..ik making new friends is pretty hard but if you have a brother or something you can start with that...the most easiest way to make friends is obviously by having shared hobbies with someone..honestly tho its ok if you don't share any hobbies but anyone who respects you and your boundaries you should definitely befriend them ..i hope you find some new friends man
Nah imma just make new friends. Imma join some volunteer work. Also want to join local organization. Another also, soon i work cause finish college so i dont meet them again probably. Thx for advice, really helps
Tenkaii [#55]come suicide with me
Remember world is always a better place with a you in it idk if ur joking or ur going through something but just know that regardless.
fatpoipoiiii [#64]Nah imma just make new friends. Imma join some volunteer work. Also want to join local organization. Another also, soon i work cause finish college so i dont meet them again probably. Thx for advice, really helps
That's good to hear man!
Discord