the phosphorus right

xenom>chronicle

wdym by mechanics. aim? or yoru util usage?

this is all i can remember. i remember i woke up profusely sweating and anxious. what could this story possibly mean?

It was a normal Saturday afternoon when Ardiis decided he was hungry.
Not hungry like a regular person — Ardiis hungry.
The kind of hungry that made local restaurants shutter their doors and buffets cry in terror.

I was just minding my own business, sipping a G-Fuel and scrolling through Valorant memes, when suddenly the sun disappeared.
A shadow loomed over me.

I looked up — too late.
There he was. Ardiis.
Charging at me like a wrecking ball in size 14 Crocs, sweat glistening on his forehead like it was Day 5 of a LAN tournament and he hadn't left his gaming chair.

Before I could even react, Ardiis had captured me — not with traps, not with ropes — but by simply falling on me.
It was like being trapped under a sentient, breathing weighted blanket. A very, very heavy one.

I tried to scream for help, but all that came out was a muffled "Ardiis, bro, please," — which he conveniently ignored while asking if I had any snacks hidden in my pockets.

"You belong to me now," Ardiis said, smiling with crumbs stuck to his jersey — probably from the Hot Pockets he inhaled mid-sprint.

At one point, I thought about trying to wriggle free, but it was no use.
I was pinned like a Bronze player trying to swing against a TenZ Operator.

And honestly?
At that point, it felt easier to accept my fate.
I was now Ardiis’s emotional support human — specifically, his designated snack delivery boy for the next six meals he scheduled within the next two hours.

At first, I thought I was the only victim.

I was wrong.

Ardiis’s hunger knew no mercy.

Once he had me tucked under one massive arm like a stuffed plushie, he started roaming through TwitchCon, Valorant watch parties, and LAN tournaments, hunting.

Anyone within a two-mile radius?
Captured.

Tarik tried to run but tripped over a Chipotle bowl.
TenZ tried to outstrafe him, but it was no use — Ardiis had jiggle peeked reality itself.
Even Sacy, Zyppan, and the whole FNATIC roster fell one by one into his clutches.

Soon, Ardiis assembled a personal sweatshop factory — but not for merch or content.
Strictly for food production.

He slammed down a crooked "KITCHEN OPEN 24/7" sign on what used to be Riot HQ and barked orders:

"Tarik, deep fry the chicken."

"TenZ, season the fries."

"Sacy, baked the cookies — faster, faster."

The factory ran nonstop, fueled by instant ramen packets and broken dreams.
Walls dripped with grease. Giant vats of mac and cheese boiled night and day.

Every time someone dared to slow down, Ardiis would roll by, breathing heavy like a dying Steam Deck, and they'd panic-cook even faster.

But then... a spark of hope.

The prisoners — covered in flour, shame, and energy drink spills — began whispering:
"We can't live like this."
"He made me butter his bread... with my tears."
"I haven’t played a ranked game in three weeks!"

They staged a rebellion.

First, they overloaded the fryers to create a smokescreen.
Second, they launched an assault, pelting Ardiis with stale baguettes and frozen microwavable pizza rolls.

For a brief moment, it seemed like they could win.

But they underestimated him.

Through the smoke, Ardiis emerged — bigger than before, fueled by rage, cholesterol, and a Costco-sized tub of Nutella.
He opened his mouth...

And he ate them.
All of them.

One giant chomp at a time. No seasoning. No forks. Just pure, brute consumption.

When he was done, the factory was silent.
Empty.
Crumbs and spilled gravy were all that remained.

Ardiis wiped the butter from his lips, his stomach rumbling like an approaching earthquake.

And then...
he turned toward the horizon.

It was time for more.

Once Ardiis consumed the last of the Valorant pros and streamers, there was no stopping him.

His appetite grew along with his size.
He crushed cars like soda cans under his Crocs.
Highways buckled. Stadiums flattened.

The President of Riot Games tried to offer peace talks:

“We’ll give you infinite Valorant Points, unlimited Night Market rerolls, please!”

Ardiis simply laughed — a deep, rumbling noise like Brimstone's orbital strike — and swallowed their headquarters whole.

That’s when the military got involved.

Jets fired missiles at him.
Tanks launched shells the size of Raze grenades.
Snipers took aim at his massive forehead.

Nothing worked.

Bullets bounced off his skin like popcorn kernels.
Missiles exploded harmlessly against his massive jersey, which at that point had become a stitched-together quilt of every Valorant team's logo.

When they dropped a nuke, Ardiis didn't even flinch.
He just yawned and asked if it came with fries.

Within a month, Earth fell.

Every city was flattened into a greasy pancake.
Mountains? Reduced to toppings for his cosmic pizza.

He declared the planet:

Valorant Queue Simulator: Population 1 (Ardiis).

With nothing left to eat, Ardiis looked up at the stars.

The planets.
The galaxies.
The infinite buffet.

"Earth was just warmup," Ardiis said, voice shaking the ruins of the world.

He jumped.
He devoured the Moon like a dry biscuit.
He slurped Mars like it was a boba tea pearl.
He scarfed down Jupiter in a series of disgustingly loud burps.

Aliens from distant galaxies tried to stop him — laser cannons, black hole grenades — nothing could pierce his armor of pure blubber and hunger.

He ate them too.
Whole civilizations reduced to toppings.

The Milky Way?
Renamed the Creamy Way once he blended it into a galactic smoothie.

Soon, nothing remained.

Except Ardiis.

Floating alone in the darkness, having eaten the entire universe.

The Big Bang?
No.
It was the Big Bite.

Somewhere, deep in the silent nothingness, a rumble echoed.
A signal.

Ardiis was still hungry.

And he was eyeing the multiverse next.

As Ardiis floated alone in the darkness of the consumed universe, his massive stomach rumbling like a dying star, a faint light flickered ahead.

A crack...
A ripple...
A portal.

Through it, he glimpsed something.
No — someone.

It was another version of himself — Ardiis from a parallel universe — slightly leaner, holding a Valorant trophy, sipping casually on a smoothie.

Ardiis licked his lips.
"No way you’re staying skinny on my watch," he muttered.

With a terrifying grin, he drifted toward the portal, his enormous body pulling asteroids and cosmic debris behind him like sprinkles on a sundae.

The multiverse trembled.

Galaxies screamed.
Alternate Tariks, TenZs, and whole timelines tried to run.

But it was too late.

Massive Ardiis was coming.
And not even reality itself could escape the hunger.

i get that he is t2 and his performance has little to no value, but he fs is one of the best yoru players in terms of mechanics.

don't listen to any of the aim training on kovaaks or aim labs bs. if you lack fundamentals, just go in the range and practice on still bots. learn your sensitivity and how hard you should flick for specific ranges. muscle memory is SO important. i quit valorant for 3 motnhs and i played recently just for fun, and it took 2 deathmatches to have mid low tier immortal aim again. after you get your fundamentals down, just play a lot of dms and tdms.

congrats bro im so happy for you

i just saw him at a restaurant and he used amaterasu on the food because it wasn't hot enough.

realistically what would be the outcome if 2025 rankers went against 2023 prime eg. how many maps or rounds would each team get.

dec 2006, so 18

yo

v1c
verno
s0m
seo
leaf
free1ng
buzz
mako

G2/MIBR

VIT/FNC

EDG/BLG

DRX/NS

FNS since he talks about his matches on the NRG podcast and how he responds to certain events within the match. "We know that we are the better team, but they showed up better today". BRO U WENT 4-17.

the only way to get good at phantom is to realize what the differences are. yes that obvious, but actually pay attention. phantom has a faster spray and is good for certain scenarios. if you're using phantom you're usually less aggressive and know that you will lose a medium range duel unless you shoot at your opponent a millisecond faster. treat phantom like vandal, but know when to use it like a phantom.

thanks for the description. and also yeah, i've heard it is hella expensive

well first of all, icebox is a very small map. second, there are so many corners in icebox especially A site that you can just dismiss and get out right away. With icebox being small, rushing a site is fairly easy. If u have a t1 aimer like meteor, mada, etc. reyna is hella valid. also people don't realize how good her flash is to combo with. great awping agent as well since there aren't many open spaces.

i've heard sm good things about it. does it actually smell like matcha? or is it just labeled as matcha and is something else

for me i like

Summer/Spring: Maison Margiela's "Beach Walk"
Fall/Winter: Jo Malone's "Mimosa and Cardamom"

Combinations:

EOS Coconut Waters lotion + "Beach Walk"

EOS Vanilla Cashmere lotion + "Mimosa and Cardamom"

that was my original pick, but i feel like mibr has such shooters and have a chance at winning as well.

yeah 100% 100% 100%. like i said in the original post, i never want to see free1ng on it ever again. TBH i think that beyn could play yoru if needed.

for example on ascent against boom, beyn could have played yoru while free1ng played tejo.

on haven, free1ng could have played tejo, beyn on yoru, and estrella on cypher.

on icebox, free1ng on tejo, beyn on yoru, and estrella on kj.

u see a pattern. just put beyn on yoru on double duelist required maps.

i agree. a player like free1ng is one of those players who can play any role and will still do good because of his aim. its just util usage that COULD be hindered.

yeah no need to take him off at all, but im just saying if for some weird reason he is taken off of it (like the one match where played yoru), we have BeYN and estrella who could play initiator/tejo

free1ng's old role was senti + clove in the 2024 ascension team.

Estrella has been playing vyse + cypher.
BeYN can play cypher

i get what you mean, but DRX currently has 3 players who COULD technically play senti. and lets say free1ng plays senti for a map, BeYn can play initiator/tejo.

i haven't been on vlr much recently so this may have been discussed already, but i think that DRX without flashback rn is better. BeYN's flexibility is great for the team as the players can all play something that they are comfortable on. I never want to see free1ng on yoru ever again. Estrella fits very well into DRX and i like how estrella can also play those support roles as well. Flashback is a great player and if you look at my account you know that I glaze him often, but he hasn't been the same in the 2025 season.

as long as tejo doesn't receive a HUGE nerf, hyunmin plays his comfort agents (not JUST running yoru every single game of a masters), and DRX don't classic panic, they have a good chance at like top 3.

pickem

avez too good for this trash current team

if KC can make some sort of comeback this year, engh

my guess is that DRX will always be seen as the favorites to make an international in APAC. also, DRX is still pretty strong despite roster changes. I think that it could go either way.

gooning-international <3

i watch americas, apac, and emea. and from this i can compare different players in those regions. for example, i know that free1ng is better than xeppaa. or that s0m is better than suygetsu. etc. what are some CN vs other region comparisons? (role comparisons)

its not the craziest, but i really liked the sylvan 1v5 at masters bangkok.

i agree. but also on DRX he had Korea's best players and some of the best in the region at the time. also w user

This guys hates DRX. i've been a DRX fan since 2022 and every single game when I saw buzz play i prayed he preformed well. he seemed to either be the best duelist itw or the worst i've ever seen. an emotional battle. but now on t1 this guy is much more consistent and actually good.

give gekko two mollies. wingman has 2x health. the flash is indestructible. ult costs 2 points less. balanced.

a team that only has 1/5 players remaining from that previous roster?

edit: whoever downvoted me. remember that

everyone on current DRX is better than 2023 EG current besides jawg

people have been saying this since its battle royale release. it will not die.

TBH i think the current DRX roster is gonna stay the same for another year or two.

MaKo is one of the greatest PLAYERS / controllers of all time and has become a great IGL over the past year or so.
Free1ng has been arguably DRX's most impactful player in 2025 so far and has insane mechanics.
HYUNMIN. Very solid duelist and has been preforming up to standard and with his mechanical ability, no doubt could become one of the best over time.
Flashback. Termi's favorite. Has lows, but incredible highs. Just needs to get his stuff straight and he is a top 5 player in pacific.
Estrella. So far has been great, and termi has been glazing him for a while now. So at least another year im assuming.

ZETA has certainly improved, but is still a tier below teams like RRQ PRX GENG etc

in valorant just bet on easy games. for ex: G2 vs FUR, VIT vs KOI, DRX vs ZETA.

thats funny because i had the same issue, but on the left side. i would hit everything on the right side, but miss the left at times.

breach util is not that difficult. breach arguably has the easiest util in the game.

derke
chichoo (no questions asked)
free1ng
valyn (smokes + igl)
francis
coach: solo

trexx?

honestly korea could have a world cup winning roster even after that.

persia
francis
buzz
flashback
yoman

yall notice NRG was using only phantom

just curious, do you guys aliens think exist?

i personally think there is something out there in our universe. maybe its not like the ones you see in movies, but even at the microbial level i think something is out there.

put verno on clove every map

i think mechanically nightz and cane is on the same level both could out aim on any given day.