9

Forgive me God, for I have Sinned

posted in Off Topic
Comments:
Threaded Linear
#1
schlong

An open letter to God:

Hey it's me, schlong. I just want to apologize for any sinful behavior I may have demonstrated this past week. I know I haven't been coming to church lately, and that I have not used the cleanest language when talking to others. Please know that I have received your heavenly message after getting Bind 5 times in a row just now. I ask for your forgiveness and pray that in exchange for me being a better Christian, you will one day bestow your mercy upon us and remove Bind, a.k.a the devil's butthole, from Valorant

In Jesus' name I pray, amen

#2
AdrenalinJunkie
9
Frags
+

Im Jesus in disguise your wish will be granted in the next act>
Amen

#5
caoguo_jiu
2
Frags
+

indian jesus can't be real

#6
AdrenalinJunkie
11
Frags
+

God is omnipresent

#7
caoguo_jiu
-10
Frags
+

May God forgive our sins. I will slaughter a cow as an offering for him.

#16
downbad
0
Frags
+

I will slaughter deez nutz

#8
HLTVtoxic
0
Frags
+

good point, but surely jesus prefers velocity gaming over garbage esports if it comes to making a choice

#15
Bronze-Smurf
-1
Frags
+

Lulocity gaming bench one of their best players vibhor. smol brain

#9
Erik
0
Frags
+

saying your Jesus is blasphemous, repent.

#10
unknown_trash
0
Frags
+

you're*

#13
ciro
2
Frags
+

cap, Jame is the real jesus

#3
SnxZ
7
Frags
+

"devil's butthole" 💀

#4
Erik
0
Frags
+

this is pretty blasphemous

#11
Noob_dart
0
Frags
+

God like smoking hokah in hookah bitch

#12
Sem1-
0
Frags
+

Bind was like dust 2 to me when I first started playing the game but now I just hate it
I've also been constantly getting rekt there for the past year IDK what's up with that

#14
schlong
2
Frags
+

Update:
It has been almost a week. I have played Bind countless times. I have been forged by the fires of hell itself. I am no longer a mere mortal. The curse which has been cast upon me no longer hurts, as I have come to appreciate every single crack and corner of Bind. Bind is no longer just a map to me. It is the home of my conscious, and every single one of my living thoughts is about Bind. In my mind, there is now peace, where before there was frustration. To me, Bind is the only map that should be played in valorant.

#17
AdrenalinJunkie
2
Frags
+

You have found peace at last
Amen

#18
fatpoipoiiii
0
Frags
+

Pls god gimme split or bind, pls stop giving me icebox even in deathmatch and spikerush

#19
andrewdamf
0
Frags
+

god doenst exist bye

  • Preview
  • Edit
› check that that your post follows the forum rules and guidelines or get formatting help
Sign up or log in to post a comment